Through every speaker in every device across the world, Wonderland Round Three begins to play.
"You have NO IDEA what it's like being trapped like that. In the podcast void. Never able to leave. Because of YOU." Griffin points agressively at Jesus. "YOU. YOU TRAPPED ME DOWN THERE. YOU LEFT ME TO ROT."
Theo is there.
Jesus shakes his head. "I didn't. You stayed in there because that's what you wanted to do."
Griffin pulls out a d20 and rolls it. It's a natural 20. He then rolls 3 d8. They're all 8.
"That's... 24 magic damage to Lightning."
"What? I haven't even been atta-"
Three bolts of magic energy crash into Lightning.
"Now I have been attacked."
Jesus smirks. "I've just had a brilliant idea."
Griffin looks at Jesus with the stank eye. "What THE FUCK could you possibly do to stop me? I have the power of Maximum Fun. I'm unstoppable."
Jesus clears his throat, and then casts...
Zone of Truth.
"I'm gonna kill every one of you." Griffin says gleefully.
"No, you're not." Shadow and Lin say in unison, holding their hands out at Griffin.
"What are you going to do, I wonder? Shoot me? Cause that'll do nothing."
Griffin laughs. He looks at the pair. "Do I need to reiterate the 'all knowing god' part of my intro?"
Lin and Shadow concentrate, and cast Charm Person on Griffin.
At that moment, the ground tremors stop.
Wonderland Round Three fades away.
Griffin falls to his knees.
"What... may I... do for you?" Griffin says, obviously in some pain.
"First of all, you can get the fuck away from me."
"Second off... well, I can't think of anything else."
Griffin sighs. "I'm... sorry... come here..." He opens his arms for a hug.
Jesus walks slowly towards Griffin, looking at him curiously. "It's okay, Griffin... we're here for you... we'll make sure you're okay..." Jesus opens his arms and hugs Griffin.
At that moment, a knife pokes out from Jesus' back.
Shadow and Lin jump back in shock, not expecting something like that to happen. Lightning just stares in awe.
"I made my wisdom saving throw, you bearded fuck."
"And I rolled GOOD."
The knife is pulled out of Jesus' back as he falls to the ground, presumably dead.
Lightning, a tear in his eyes, revs up and drives straight into Griffin.
"Nice try."
Lightning looks around as his vision changes. His body being crushed by an invisible force. Griffin clenches his fist and the crushing intensifies. He only just makes it out, his bodywork bashed beyond repair.
"Can't you see? I win every roll." Griffin laughs at the miserable efforts to thwart him.
"How about this then, Griffin."
John K-Pop steps out of the shadows with Gianna, taking a deep breath. They both look up at Griffin, and cast Irresistible Dance.
"No point rolling for that, you dungeons & dragons asshole!"
Griffin begins to do a comic dance: shuffling, tapping his feet, and capering.
At this exact moment, Lin and Shadow pull the triggers of their rifles, their bullets hitting their target perfectly. Griffin groans, falling to the ground.
"I can't go back... I can't..." Lin and Shadow watch Griffin as he sinks into the ground.
"You have to, Griffin."
"N-No! I won't go back. I refuse."
"Look, Griffin. I get it. But, if you stay here, this world will end. So, please, go back."
Griffin sighs. "I'm sorry." He stands up.
"I'm not going back there."
A barrage of bullets hit him, raining down like hail.
"I'm gonna go down, but it'll. have been worth it."
Griffin begins to disintegrate, as if his whole body is made of dust. "T-Thank you. I know it seems weird, since I tried to kill you just now, but you've helped me a lot." The hints of a smile cross his face as he fully fades away.
Everyone rushes to Jesus' side, to check that he's okay. His skin was pale. His heart wasn't beating. He was really dead. Now that Lightning new this for sure, he just sits there, looking down, sad.
"We've lost so many people this last day. And this," He points at Jesus with his wheel. "This is more than I can handle. I just want my babe back."
As Lightning says this, a bright light is emitted from Jesus' chest. His body rises up into the air, and begins to spin, his wounds being undone and his lifeless body being revived. His eyes open. He looks at Lightning. And he blushes.
"I'm here, Lightning. I'm here." He hugs Lightning, keeping him close.
They just stay there for a while, holding each other close, and then smile at each other.
Lin and Shadow hug too, because they're best buds and are just hanging and chilling and doing their thing.
Jesus laughs. "We did it. We actually did it."
"We did."
Everybody stands atop the cliff face, looking down at the world below. It's beautiful. And without them, it would be nothing.
The hedgehog.
The admin.
The son.
The car.
The k-pop.
And the revolutionary.
Goodnight.
—THE END OF SAGA 1–
