"K-Kachow?" Lightning says, trembling in the presence of the Lord.
"Kachow indeed." Jesus smiles. "It's me, your friendly neighbourhood Jesus." He laughs a little. "I've been watching you for a *very* long time."
Lightning only trembles more. "Don't say you've seen my search history. It was a prank bro." Jesus just winks and Lightning gets a weird feeling in his car stomach.
"Don't worry. None of that matters. The real reason I'm here..." Jesus looks at him. "Is because you needed a friend."
Lightning looks shocked. "Y-You're gonna be... my friend?"
Jesus nods, chuckling. "Hell yeah brotherrrrr."
Jesus holds out a hand, and Lightning places his wheel in the hand. "Your hand is so warm, Jesus..." Lightning says softly.
Jesus blushes a little. "I could turn your coolant into wine my man. Of course my hand is hot. I'm hot. Sexy Jesus time, let's go."
Lightning McQueen stares in awe.
Jesus stares back.
Lightning stares more.
Jesus stares more.
Eventually, their staring is broken by Filmore, high out of his brain on weed. He is driving rapidly towards Jesus. HE'S GOING TO HIT HIM!!!
Lightning dives ahead, taking the hit for Jesus. "That... That wasn't very Speed of you."
Filmore just grunts and says "Aye".
Jesus looks at Lightning, a new look in his eyes. "Y-You saved me. You saved Christianity."
Lightning chuckles, car blood coming out. "I guess I'm the Saviour, huh."
Jesus smiles. "I like you, Lightning. Do you wanna go back to your place?"
Lightning nods a little. "Y-Yeah. That'd be good."
Lightning and Jesus slowly move back to Radiator Springs, going into his garage without being seen.
"L-Lightning?"
"Yes?"
"I have something... important to tell you."
Silence falls over the garage.
—END OF CHAPTER TWO—
