Hidden Love

Prolouge

I was sitting in the library waiting for Kevin to show up. I thought about texting Hope, but she was probably caught up at lunch or in class. She’s usually the one I go to pretty much all the time. I kept asking myself why it was taking so long. I thought, "Maybe he got caught up in the hallway. These kids do walk pretty damn slow." I picked out a book from the shelf and sat down. I tried to calm myself; With what just happened, the only things to help me were music and a book. Unluckily for me, my headphones had just broken, so I only had a book to relax. But thank god I was standing in a library. I found a random book and sat down in a spot so that I could watch the front. Before I opened the book, I was feeling just so excited, and almost happy. But mostly anxious. As I opened the book, I could hear the spine crunch. It was a fairly new book. It had to do with a highschool girl who had been bullied, but, instead of killing herself, she decided to fight back. At least, that's what I got from the first two chapters. I’m a fast reader.

 

Before long, I see him walk in. God he's adorable. It's a shock he's even gay, and likes me.. at least, that's what I think. That's the whole reason why I'm waiting in the library. I stand up by using the corner of a bookshelf to support my weight and wave to catch his attention. This whole thing is actually crazy, no, FREAKING INSANE. I come out of the closet in the eleventh grade expecting the worst and got none of that. I was expecting major name calling, bullying, and even assaults. Serious assaults. But you know what I got almost every time? "That's awesome!" Of course, there's always the “'Straight person survey”. "When did you know you were gay?"  " Have you ever been with a guy?" "What girl broke your heart so bad that it turned you gay?". All of that crap. The gay FAQ. There are more, but I tend to zone out after the fifth barrage of questions. The most annoying is the one where they ask, “Who wears the pants?” or “Who’s the guy and who’s the girl?” of the relationship. But what they don't understand is that all that doesn't matter. I can't blame them, though. They weren't raised in a home that taught them about how people are different. Some of them use religion to bombard others about how wrong it is to like men. Or that a girl likes girls, I mean it's just a ridiculous world we live in. Its full of hatred and love,  and its hard to follow. Love is love, why take that away? It's a beautiful thing no matter how wrong others may see it.

Luckily for me, I had friends who stand by me no matter what. They had my back.  I did this thing where I told several people I was gay. Friends, of course, but they were very close. It was a feeling I had in them that I could trust them and I told them. None of them outed me, which meant they would support me no matter what.

"Hey."

He walked up to me with his stupid half smile.

"Hey, yourself."

Like I said, anxious. And a little bitchy.

"What? Never mind. So about first period, I just… I couldn’t hold myself back. You’re just so hot."

“What.”

"I said you’re hot, Alex."

The library was quiet. Only the slight whispers of he and I (and the few students already there) could be heard. He pulled me to a more secluded area of the library, and leaned me against a wall. He was looking right into my eyes. Then he leaned in, and kissed the shit out of me… Again.