A STORM FOR SUZI

THE VERDICT

By then, the wind had calmed down. Students and teachers had started coming out of hiding, and the campus was coming back to life again. 'Am 'Abdu was already outside sweeping the sand in front of the gate. Upon seeing Salem, he stopped and went inside his kiosk. He came out with an envelope the size of a small greeting card and waved it at Salem. Salem felt his heart knocking in his chest.

"From SuZi," said 'Am 'Abdu.

Salem grabbed the envelope and asked, "Where is she?"

"A man in a car came and took her half an hour ago," 'Am 'Abdu said, a bit taken aback by Salem's sharp tone.

It was likely her chauffeur or her father, thought Salem. He remembered seeing a man drop her off at the gate one morning.

SuZi had scribbled Salem's name on the front of the envelope. The flap was tucked in to enclose a folded note. Salem opened the note and read:

I'm sorry, Salem.

I just can't.

It's not possible.

I'm so sorry.

SuZi

He closed his eyes and bit down hard on the corner of his lower lip. He then put the note back in its shell and calmly placed it in his shirt pocket.

"Shukrun ya 'Am 'Abdu." Salem thanked him, and left.

"Ma'assalamah," said 'Am 'Abdu, bidding him farewell. Salem was not listening. Thabet's words were ringing once more in his ears: "If she loves you, she'll surprise you, she will, she will." But there was no sign of love in her note, only rejection and regret. Louder voices assaulted his brain: "Flock of birds...flock of birds...I am Egyptian, you are Palestinian, Palestinian, Palestinian."

He walked aimlessly near the university, on the main streets and the side streets, to try and ride out the wave of anger that surged inside him. He swore. He stomped on the sidewalks and the asphalt. He threw his fists in the air, oblivious to passers-by. He cursed his bad luck. He felt sorry for himself. He almost cried.

He thought he had prepared himself for the letdown during his conversation with his friend Thabet, but deep inside, he had continued to hope. Now what he feared so much had become a reality. It broke his heart. It bruised his pride. Terribly.

As he walked, SuZi's face kept appearing before his eyes. He would flick his head angrily to erase her image, but she kept coming back, as if to console him, to tell him she really loved him, and that she was not to blame.

She was his first love, and his heart raged and ached at the same time at the thought of losing her. She had brightened his life, lifted his spirit, made him happy, and infused hope, energy, and excitement in his otherwise uneventful existence.

An hour passed. Tired from wandering the streets, reflecting and agonizing, Salem decided to go home.