Be My Kryptonite.

The Letter

Nicole’s POV

The past couple of weeks have been amazing. Being on tour with them was something I’ve only imagined of doing, it was such an incredible experience.  I don’t want to go back to London, especially without Harry. But as much as I’d love to stay until the end of the tour, I can’t. I need to go back, I have things to do and take care of.

“I can’t believe you’re leaving tomorrow already!” Harry said. We were laying in bed about to go to sleep. “I know. I don’t want to.” I snuggled up next to him. “Then don’t. The boys wouldn’t care if you stayed. And I really want you to.” He kissed me and smiled. “Harry, you know I want to but I can’t” I pulled the covers up and closed my eyes. “It’s just not fair that you’re leaving” He said, he kissed me on the head, “Goodnight. I love you.” I smiled up at him, “Night, I love you too.”

 ~~

Everything has just been going wrong. I love Harry to death but I just can’t do it anymore. We’re about to leave for the airport and I’m heading back to London. He won’t be back for 6 more weeks. I don’t think I’m going to be able to handle all the hate I’ve been getting and everything else without Harry there to support me.

It was a long, quiet drive to the airport. He turned to me, concerned “You okay Nicole?” I didn’t know what to say, I won’t be able to say it all in person, face to face. “Yeah, just going to miss you. More then you’ll ever know.” I tried to smile, cherish the last few moments I will ever share with Harry. The most loyal, perfect and loving person I have ever known.

 ~~

We were outside of the gate I was just about to board, he looked at me with his huge green eyes. That is one of the things I will miss the most. “So, call me when you land so I know you landed okay.  And try not to have to much fun without me there.” I wanted to burst into tears, have him hold me and never let me go, tell me everything will be okay. But it won’t be, so I had to stay strong. “Okay. I love you so much. Don’t ever forget that. Have fun on the rest of the tour.” I half smiled.“Bye Harry, I love you.”  “Talk to you later. I love you too.” He pulled me into a big, comforting hug and gave me a kiss on my lips. It’s sad to think that this will be the last time he will ever do this to me. The last time I will ever actualy feel loved and protected. 

I walked on to the ramp, about to get on the plane. I didn't want to do this but I have to. I looked back one last time before I got on, he was standing there smiling, he blew me a kiss and I walked on. It was the worst feeling I’ve ever felt. I felt guilty, selfish, an asshole. But it was what was best for me. He’ll get over me, get over us. He’s famous, he can go out and have whoever he wants. And well for me, I’ll figure it out.

Harry’s POV

She seemed so distant and upset. I hope everything is okay..

Even though I’ll see her soon, I was sad. I love her, I couldn’t picture my life without Nicole. She is my everything and it kills me to see her walk away, even though I know I will see her again.

I headed back to my car and got in. I looked over and on the passenger seat there was an envelope. It had Harry written on the outside, it was Nicole’s handwriting. I reached over and opened it. It was a letter;

Dear Harry,

This is probably one of the hardest things I will EVER have to write in my entire life. I love you more then you could ever imagine. These past couple of months have been amazing and more then I could ask for. I’ve been living a dream, my dream. But things have been going wrong and I don’t know if I could take it anymore. The hate messages and always having to be away from you, it just got to be too much. I moved to London, to start fresh. And before I know it, I’m dating you. The one and only Harry Styles. Everything happened so fast. We started dating after 2 days of meeting. Even though we got together so quickly, I fell for you hard and fast. I love you more then anything I ever have or will love and I never could imagine my life without you. I still can't but I'll figure it out. Right now, I wish I could be wrapped in your arms, laying in bed, laughing and having fun but sadly I can’t be because I’m not strong enough. What we have or had I guess was wonderful but everything eventually comes to an end, so this is where our story ends.

I don’t want to be doing this but it’s for the best. I will never forget you, I promise. When I’m older, I’ll look back at this wonderful time of my life and I’ll remember your sparkling green eyes and brown curly locks. The way you smiled and laughed. The jokes you told me and all of the amazing times we shared. Hopefully, you’ll miss me and look back on it too.

You have amazing friends and family. I’m so glad I got the opportunity to meet them all. Please tell them goodbye. Please, don’t come looking for me or anything. I don’t think I will be able to handle seeing you again. By the time you get back I’ll be gone. Don’t make this harder then it is, if you really do love me, then you'll respect my request. I won’t be upset that you didn’t come after me, that’s not what I’m looking for you to do. I know that you love me and you have said everything I needed to hear. Just remember that it’s not your fault. It’s mine. You have done nothing wrong, you are perfect in every way possible and imaginable. It's just I'm not and that's the thing. 

So now to you. Goodbye Harry, I’m so glad you let me into your life. You helped me through so much and changed me for the better. But one thing will never change about me, I will never be able to face my problems head on. That’s why I wrote this in a letter. And now my time has come, our story is ending and I’m leaving, running away from my problems because that’s all I’ve ever known. I love you.”

                                                                                                                                                                     -Nicole.