Be My Kryptonite.

The Final Goodbyes

Nicole's POV 

When I arrived back at the hotel, it was much later then I thought. Zayn's room was right next to mine and Harry's, he waited to make sure I got in okay before entering his room. I was being as quiet as I could. I set my bag and phone down on the table and went into the bathroom. I washed off my make-up, threw my hair up and brushed my teeth. I then changed into sweat pants and a tank top. I laid down in bed, Harry was sound asleep and didn't even flinch. I looked at him for a minute, he seemed so peaceful and innocent. Looking at him made me feel even worse, knowing I'm going to be leaving him, heartbroken and torn. But like Zayn said, he knows, deep down, that my answer is going to be to leave him and go back to London but he just doesn't want to admit it or accept it because it wasn't a reality yet. I wish it wasn't the reality but sadly it is. First thing tomorrow, I'm going to let him know even though I wasn't supposed to make my decision for another 3 days. I can't believe this is really it. 

It took me a little while to fall asleep, there was just so much on my mind. I tried my best to clear all my thoughts and deal with them tomorrow but it was nearly impossible. 

~~

I was suddenly woken up when I felt someone shifting on the bed. I opened my eyes and saw it was Harry, he was awake on his phone. "Sorry, did I wake you?" He smiled and then reached over and gave me a quick kiss on my forehead. "Yeah, what time is it?" He looked down at his phone, "Almost 12 and sorry, didn't mean to wake you." I can't believe it's already noon! "Oh, did you just wake up?" I knew what I was doing, I was making small talk trying to avoid what I promised Zayn I would do, talk to him about my answer. "No, I've been up for about an hour or so" he put his phone on the nightstand and faced me, "I'm not really in the mood to do anything today and we're not leaving until tomorrow, so I figured why not just spend the day resting, in bed." He laughed, I half smiled, "Oh.." I had to do it, I needed to. "Listen Harry, we need to talk." He looked up at me alarmed, "Everything okay?" I knew I was going to regret this, "No, I.." I didn't know what to say, I'm not good at this whole face to face, expressing all my emotions and problems to him, kinda thing. "I'm not going to stay." He got this look on his face like I just told him the world was ending or something, "wait, what?" 

"I can't do it. I love you more then anything and I know I was supposed to give it a week but you know just as much as I do that I was still going to leave." I talked quickly and quietly, "I'm sorry, I really am. I  want to make this work as much as you do but we're not going to be able to. You're always busy and yeah. I just needed to tell you because I couldn't kepe going along with this and acting like I might stay, I just didn't want you to be more hurt then you already were going to be. So sorry." I looked down and picked at my nails, nervous of what I had just done and if I made the wrong decision because now it really is over. 

"I.. uh.." He looked down trying to hide the tears building up, "okay." He looked up at me, I could see the hurt in his eyes. "Well, if that's what you think is best for you and you're going to be okay, then fine. I just want you to be happy and know that I am always here for you." I opened my arms and pulled him in for a hug. "Thank you Harry, for being so loving and understanding." The hug was warm and cozy. I rested my head on his shoulder, "I love you, I always will." He squeezed me a little tighter, "I know. I love you and always will too." We released from the hug, "So when are you going to leave, still at the end of the week?" Harry asked. "If you're okay with me being here, I don't want to make this harder." He wiped away my tears, "It won't be harder. The hard part is done, you can leave  the day after tomorrow and that's that." I nodded and hugged him again. I knew I should probably just leave now, right now. Not looking back and just make it less complicated but part of me wanted to stay and be able to enjoy the last few moments I will ever have with him. 

Harry's POV

I can't believe this. I feel like my world just came crumbling down right in front of me. I feel hurt, lonely, angry that I'm letting her go. But I guess I tried as best as I can and that's all I can ever do. Nicole is everything to me, she always will be. I don't even think I remember my life without her. This was going to be tough but I'll make it through. 

We wound up laying in bed all day until around 4:30, "I think we should get up, go check on what everyone is doing." She said as she sat up and stretched. "Yeah, probably best. We haven't gotten up once." I laughed, even though it was hard too. 

I felt weak and hurt, I'm sure she could tell. But I saw in her eyes that she looked the same, weak and hurt. She didn't actually want this to happen but things have there own way of working it out. I just hope that I'm not going to regret this later in life, regret that I let her go and didn't try harder to make it work. I'm going to miss her so much. I'm going to miss her smile and laugh, her funny yet sensitive personality and all of the great time we shared. But mainly I'm going to miss how much she loved and cared for me, how she made me feel accepted and wanted. She was and always will be the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to get over this. 

~~

So today is the day, the day I'm letting the best thing in my life, leave. I've been dreading this day but it was bound to happen sometime. It's been two days since she told me it was really over. When I told the boys later on that day, they felt so bad and were almost as upset as I was. They loved her like a family.

We were in the hotel, she walked over to where all the boys were in Zayn's room. "You're leaving now?" Zayn asked as he got up and walked over to her. "Yup. I'm ganna miss you guys!" She sounded sad, Zayn wrapped his arms around her, "you better keep in touch. I'm going to miss you just as much. We got so close and I'm going to need you to help me with all my problems!" He laughed as he pulled her in tighter, she just half-heartily smiled. "Love you, bye babe." He gave her a kiss on her head and let go. She walked over to Liam and Niall on the couch. Liam pulled her down and hugged her as well, they spoke quietly, I couldn't make out what they were saying, he also gave her a kiss on the head and then let go, "love you." She did the same with Niall and Louis. I held the door open as she was went to walk out, she turned to them and smiled with tears in her eyes, "bye boys, love you." I shut the door behind us.

We arrived at the airport, I got her bags out of the car and carried them in. We didn't say two words until we got to her gate, "so this is really it?" I looked into her eyes, you could tell she was holding in her tears. She pulled me in for a hug and wrapped her arms tightly around me, "I love you so much Harry. Please don't ever forget that, I'm only doing what needs to be done. remember that." When she stopped talking, she let her tears out and sobbed into my shoulder. "Shh.." I rubbed the back of her head, now crying myself, "I know and I won't. I promise Nicole." She pulled on the back of my shirt and didn't move. She pulled herself together and pulled away, with her arms still wrapped around me. I wiped the tears away from her face and smiled. "I love you. Bye." She smiled weakly and said the same. She picked up her bags and walked away. I stood there, tears in my eyes watching my whole world walk away right before my very own eyes. She turned back and blew a kiss, i saw her wipe away more tears as she walked on the plane.

The minute I got in my car, I rested my head on the steering wheel and just broke down. I sat there for about 10 minutes with tears in my eyes and a whole in my heart.

Nicole's POV 

This was it, it was really over. I turned around before I walked on, he was standing there, his hands in his front pockets, tears and a sad look in his eyes. I blew him my last kiss and turned back. I wiped the tears from my face and handed the lady my boarding pass. 

When I get home, I'll have some time to figure what I'm going to do from there. But for now, I just put in my music, blocked everyone out and sobbed in my seat. Again, another long plane ride, crying my eyes out.