Be My Kryptonite.

Cutting Off All Connections

Nicole's POV 

It's been a whole month since I've left. Harry has respected my wishes and hasn't contacted me or anything. It's weird though because everywhere I go, I see him or hear him. He's on all magazine covers, the radio, TV. It's going to take me a while before I get over him. I'm keeping in touch with Zayn, since he was the only one I really got along with and became really close with. He was still really busy and everything since their still on tour so we hadn't talked that much. Liam and Ava are still together and going good, I'm talking to her as well, she's still on tour with them, they come home in the next few days. 

Between her and Zayn, I've heard Harry's doing pretty bad. He doesn't go out ever, when they have a day off, he just lays in bed watching TV. Zayn told me whenever his phone goes off, he gets a little bit of hop in his eyes, thinking it's me. The only good thing Zayn said, was that he never lets the fans see how torn apart he really is, which is good I guess. I just will now never know when he really is over me. 

I've moved to a small, one bedroom apartment not too far from where I was originally. It's a little but cute place. I got a job as a receptionist in an office building a few blocks away from it. It's really hard but I'll get over it soon enough, hopefully. I haven't been feeling myself lately. I thought I was getting my period because I had been expected to get it the week I got home and it was now 3 weeks later. I thought about the last time I had my period and I was positive i was supposed to have it already and be over it by now. Then I got a little worried because I had sex with Harry the night before I went out with Zayn. I couldn't really be.. pregnant. 

I went out to the drugstore and got a pregnancy test, after the most intense two minutes of my life, I had read positive. I was worried and scared. I reached over to get my phone to call.. Harry. No I forgot, I can't.. Ava, no I can't either she's with Harry, same with Zayn. I couldn't let him find out. It's not like he's going to have time for me or the baby, if this was really true.  He barely had time for me when it was just me, why would he have time for now two people. Nothing has changed, right? All of our problems were still there, it's just now I have a new, bigger one. I was pregnant, with Harry Styles baby.. oh my god. 

~~

It's been a week. I went to the doctor a few days ago and well, it was true. I was pregnant. I now needed to save up and pull myself together, for my child. Wow, that just sounds so weird. I was going to have to cut off all connections with all of them, my best friends. I already lost the person I loved the most, know I have to loose the next two closest people to me. But again, it was for the best. I wasn't ready to see Harry or talk to him, so he couldn't know now. I obviously am going to let him know, but only when I'm ready. I don't want to get hurt again. They are home from their tour now though and I would like to see Zayn and Ava. I just have to promise myself I won't tell them. 

~~

I was walking into Starbucks, to meet up with Zayn, Ava was busy and we were going to hang out in the next few days. I immediately saw him sitting down at a table, with two cups of coffee on the table. He looked up and saw me, he smiled, "Hey, I've missed you!" he got up and gave me a hug, it was my first hug since my last hug with Harry. "I know. How have you been?" I asked as I sat down and thanked him for the coffee. "Great, I had a lot of fun on this tour and all." He sipped his coffee, "what about you?" I took a sip too, "Uhm...okay." He looked at me, he knew I was lying. "Okay.. I've been horrible, barely making it through." His smile disappeared, "I'm sorry Nicole. I just wish you guys could work things out, you two are both miserable and lying to yourself about being okay." He looked down and shook his head. "Yeah, me too but we can't be together, you know this. We just aren't meant for each other and I'm accepting that." I forced a smile on my face, "does he know you're here?" Zayn looked up, making eye contact, "no.. I was going to tell him but I just thought It'd hurt him and he's hurt enough.. so no one knows, except Ava." He looked upset by this, "he doesn't know I've even talked to you since yu left, he's been asking if I have and if so how you were holding up and everything but I always just brush off his questions and not answer." I took another sip, "oh.. well he probably would be upset, so it's for the best I guess." He nodded and sipped his drink some more.

We talked for about an hour or so about a lot of stuff. I made sure to not tell him about my pregnancy. It was sad to know that when we said goodbye, it was for real this time because I would start showing sooner or later and he would know, so this was really it with him as well.

When I hung out with Ava a few days later, we talked pretty much about the same thing, I didn't give her my address or anything because when I did cut off all connections with them, she would try to come to see me and she can't. 

It was devastating, the life I've known was now changing so much and I don't know if it was for the better or not? My best friend, the one who I've grown up with and helped me get through everything, was now going to be out of my life and for good, she's most likely going to be mad that I stopped all communication with her and didn't let her know I was pregnant.

I was now going to be a mom at almost 19 years old, a single mom.