Lovers Lane

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Jenelle's POV

        My lungs burned. My head pounded. My body was numb.

        I was practically catatonic.

        "I want to go home. I want to go home" I whispered softly to myself as I held my knees closer to my chest. Nothing here was right. The wall I was staring at wasn't mine. The rug  that was underneath the soles of my shoes wasn't mine either. This life wasn't mine.

        As sad as it may seem, I was ready to go home and see my mom again. The mother who couldn't care less if I was home, fed, or even alive for that matter. But I longed for the thought that she may have missed me for even one second. 

        She wasn't the same mother that gave birth to me. This one was different. This one showed up after my father left. This mother replaced the loving and caring mother that I haven't seen since I was five years old. This one was more interested in when she was going to get her next high than what I placed in my gymnastic tornament. And after all of this, I was still worried about how she was.

        Had she eaten? Was she okay? Was she alive? Was she arrested? What if she was in jail? I would be an orphan.

        I began to panick slightly more and gently rocked myself back and forth. I was responsible for soothing myself. It had been that way for as long as I could remember.

        I let my head reast of the cool wall bahind me and glanced ahead. I could see Ian fast  asleep on his bed without a care in the world. 

        'He must be used to this shit' I thought. 

        But I wasn't. I wasn't used to being held hostage or having bombs go off in a weird building that reminded me of some old office complex. I wasn't used to being in a place that I couldn't get out of. At least at home when my mother would go off the handle, I would have Cindy to go to. I had nowhere to run. I was stuck here. Granted, Ian was a total babe but that doesn't make up the fact that i'm in east-outer buttfuck.

        My fingers itched to take out all of the confusion I was feeling on a piece of clay. To mold all of my frustrations into something wonderful. something that could give all of the fear I was feeling a tangible form. A way for me to understand my own feelings. Even though I'm sure that even that wouldn't help me right now.

        What would tomorrow bring me? Would I be safe? Nothing was sure to me.

        I missed Cindy.I missed high school. I missed my art. And most of all I missed Anthony.

_________________

Truthfully, writing this chapter was really hard for me. I had no ambition today. I used any sort of creativity that I had for the day on editing people's senior pictures, Hopefully in the next few days I can write a longer chapter that has better quality.

It also doesn't help that I'm watching Billy Madison and I keep getting really distracted.

Thanks for reading babes:)