Ross Lynch- A love story

Hey, yeah you.
This isn't supposed to be offensive.
Yeah, thanks

Tallulah and jess are at the dolans funeral which takes place 12 years later

Tallulah: they're not dead! (Sobs)
Jess: they are dead. Deader than Ross lynch.
Tallulah: no! I saw Grayson at Aldi yesterday!
Jess: what?
Tallulah: they're not dead
Grayson: hey
Tallulah: seeeee???
Jess: ETHAAAAANNNNNNN BAAAAABBBBBYYY
Ethan: hey
Grayson: hey
Jess: hey
Tallulah: I've started seeing someone else
Grayson: what? It's only been 12 years since I "died"
Tallulah: I'm sorry
Grayson: (starts crying)
Tallulah: omigod! I'm so sorry hon! I couldn't spend forever mourning over you!
Grayson: what's his NAME? I'll burn him alive.
Tallulah: link Larkin and... Please don't. He's such a hottie.
Grayson: what's so good about him?
Tallulah: he's absolutely gorgeous! Stunning! He has such a kind heart too...
Grayson: rowaglo
Ethan: are you seeing anyone ivy?
Jess: yeah sorry about that bæ
Ethan: WHO?
Jess: his name is Specsavers.
Ethan:what?
Jess: he helps me to see
Ethan: oh, but are you DATING anyone?
Jess: the date? It's the 75/11/5421
Ethan: OMG, (to natasha) is she dating anyone?
Tallulah: you heard her, it's the 75/11/5421
Ethan: meh. *kisses Jess*

Jess and Tallulah are shopping at ikea
Jess: I sort of miss Ethan
Tallulah: lust for grayson
Jess: what would link think about that?
Tallulah: link is like, sooo living in the past. He thinks he's in the 60's or something
Jess: that would make sense
Tallulah: I wanna my gray gray back
Ross jumps out from ikea knifes section
Ross:L A D I E Z HHJ FLIFVH
Jess: ACK!!!!!
Tallulah: I THOUGHT WE KILLED YOU
Ross: you can never kill love
Jess: but we can kill you
Ross: love floats. Ship sinks.
Tallulah: titanic is bæ movie
Jess: WELCOME TO THE SIXTIES
Tallulah: let's go to the Beach-each Lets go drown ross
Ross:*lies down in ikea beds and licks knife*
Jess: *sings lullaby*
Tallulah and and Jess sneak away

Jamie Fleming and Kurt Coleman are in Paris
Jamie: you know Kurt, I'm kind of interested in phytoplankton
Kurt:ily
Jamie:OMG I HAVE A QUOTE
Kurt: who?
Jamie: you can't buy happiness, but you can kill ross lynch, and it's kind of the same thing, without the buying, am I right, or am I rightyhoe
Kurt: *eats poodle*
Jamie: *joins him in eating a poodle under the Eiffel tower*
Kurt: (licks Jamie's eye) I love eating livestock
Jamie: like on masterchef hon
Kurt: you are masterchef
Jamie: I like you when your a salmon skin roll

The DOLANS are home alone
Ethan: I miss Jess
Grayson: I lust for Tallulah
Ross crawls out in lizard motion from under the carpet
Ross: hey guys wassup?
Grayson: LIZARD!!!!!
Ethan: GET THE BAT GET THE BAT
Grayson: it's just ross... Our potential murderer
Ross: I wanted to let you know I killed ivana
Ethan: she was gone LONG ago
Ross: want some lemon up your orange
Ethan: YOU FREAK GO AWAY YOU TORMENTED SPONGE
grayson: clam. Bam a lam
Ethan: I want Jess
Grayson: I LUST FOR TALLULAH
Ross: so do I
Grayson: go die in a hole you bastard
Ethan: I'll get the ikea knifes
Grayson: I'll get the vegemite
Ross: I'll get the lemon
Grayson: you are a lemon
Ross: I wish I could die
Ethan: ahhhhhh thank you
Grayson: (swipes ross lynchs leg with knife covered in Vegemite)
Ross: gonna eat me again?
Ethan: nope
Grayson: gonna throw you into the oven
Ethan: with some lemon juice
Ross: my sperm?
Ross drowns in own saliva