Ross Lynch- A love story

Hey guys,
Just a reminder this isn't supposed to be offensive, it's just my strange mind, and my total friend for life wrote this with me! She is bæ!
Also, maybe some likes and stuff for the next chapter? Maybe 10!
-Death

(On telephone) Jess: HI TALLULAH!!
Ross: halo?
Jess: Tallulah?...
Ross: no this is Ross lynch
Jess screams and has a heart attack

Ross:heeeeyyyyy
Kurt:do you like this picture of me?
Ross:yah you pretty girl, wanna go out?
Kurt:I'm a booy..
Ross:youareafuton

Kurt:iamafuton
Ross: you should take a selfie
Kurt:tries to take selfie
Ross: tries to get in selfie with Kurt
Kurt: Knocks Ross out with a death stare

Jess and Tallulah are at a shopping mall at 5am
Jess: wanna some 5am yoghurt
Tallulah: yes! Oh wait, it's 5:01 now! Soz!
Ross appears from under drainage pipe
Ross: I feel like chicken tonight
Tallukah: ew
Ross: chicken mc dicken
Jess: GO AWAY
Tallulah: I thought we killed you...?
Jess: let's go to the snow
Tallulah: I have a better idea (points to ross)
Jess:?
Ross: I know you want me
Tallulah: let's cook ross in a pot with chicken tonight!
Jess: yes! Let's B UNR N him alive
Ross: can I at least taste some of the chicken
Jess: well
Tallulah: no
Ross turns into a yummy treat for all of India

Michael Clifford appears in Tallulah's car next to Jess
Jess: OMIGOSH ILY SO MUCH I CANT BELIEVE IM MEETING YOU OMFG I LOVE YOU
Michael: thanks cutie, got some pink blue green rainbow ice cream flavored hair dye?
Jess: (grabs it out of bag) here you go
Tallulah: don't spill it on my 678th hand me down car seats
Jess: drop us at the hair dresser Tallulah
Tallulah: don't call me Amelia
Jess: um
Grayson pops out of car boot and stands on car singing
Grayson: PUT ME ON THE SHELF DISCIPLINE MYSELFF....
Tallulah: here's the hairdresser, get out
Grayson: TO LET YHE SPARKS DIE OUTTT
Tallulah: grayson and I need to have some fun now. Leave. To let us have that fun.

Michael: I wish my name was michaela
Jess: same
Ethan: WTF IVY WHAT ARE UOU DOUNG
Ross: WTF MICHAEL
Jess: Soz bæ. I'll leave now. I was just dying michaelas hair
Michael: wanna kill ross?
Tallulah and grayson appear
Tallulah and grayson: YES

Ross: hey Ladies, wanna get preggers
Jess: not with you, sexy legs
Tallulah: aaaaahhhhh lianz insurance
Ivy: I've already got a boyfriend
Tallulah: or naaaawwww
Ross: I saw someone like you in rehab tomorrow
Jess: yeah, I killed you
Tallulah: come ON guys let's head off to savers

Ross falls to ground with Kleenex in his mouth

Jess: Ross honey, wake up honey, Ross honey, Ross baby
Selma: Ross, it's your prostitute. Wake up!
Ivana: I think he's dead
Selma: well I need to collect my payment for the other night. I ate his eyebrow real nice
Ivana: whatevs. Where is Pablo?
Ross: I'm here
Ivana: go to AFGANISTAN

Ross blows up in a helicopter in Afghanistan
Jess: wopbamaloobapawopbamboo
Tallulah : cool
Lambrina: or nawwwww
Nash Grier: *dies*
Cameron Dallas *cries*
Brent Rivera: mmmmm hmmmmmmm, Panda says hi
Ivana: should I buy some 5 am yoghurt?
Tallulah and Jess : yes