Her Hope | Jung Hoseok

6

Dahee was staring at a knife in her hand with intensity before she heard footsteps coming towards kitchen. She quickly took tomato and started chopping it.

"What are you making?" Namjoon asked her in sleepy voice.

She turned her head and watched him yawning, must have slept late like always.

Dahee endearingly shook her head at her workaholic brother.

"Sandwiches for breakfast" She smiled.

Namjoon hummed and moved to take out carton of orange juice from fridge, before proceeding to fill two glasses.

He sat on dining table, sipping on his juice while waiting for Dahee to finish preparing their breakfast.

Namjoon cleared his throat, gaining attention of Dahee who was placing plate containing sandwiches on the table.

"Yes?" She asked before taking a small bite of her sandwich.

Namjoon quickly wolfed down his bite before answering.

"I am going to America for tour" Namjoon said keeping close attention on her reaction.

"When?" Dahee asked after gulping down her food.

"This Friday for two weeks" He informed.

Dahee felt a small shiver run down her spine, understanding the implication of what he meant but she ignored it.

"Today is Sunday, means four days later. Okay."

'Please don't tell me I'll be here alone'

"You will have to stay here. Are you okay with it?"

'No'

"Yes, I'll be alright. Don't worry" Dahee assured with a convincing smile.

'I am scared please don't leave me alone'

Namjoon didn't look convinced but he nodded anyway.

There were so many things Dahee wanted to tell him. About how scared she was, scared of living alone, and scared of them coming to take her back with them but mostly of what she might do to herself, if she was left alone with her dark thoughts.

'I don't want to be alone...'

But she said nothing.

How can she when she knew that she had became a burden on her brother. How he has to always stay back at home to take care of her, instead of working at his studio. How he basically had no social life of his because of her. She doesn't want to bother him anymore but she can't help it with how pathetic she has became. How scared she is of every man, worst how scared she was of him, her brother who has done nothing to her to deserve it. It wasn't her brother fault with what happened to her, then why should he suffer for it.

She hated it.

She hated herself.

She hated herself for causing pain to her brother.

She hated everything about herself.

She hated how dirty she was.

She hated how she still felt their touch on her body.

She hated her face that they called beautiful.

She hated her skin that they called soft.

She hated her body that pleasured them.

She hated her whole existence.

She hated everything.

But her love for her brother was greater than her hatred for herself.

Hence, she lived and didn't harm herself.

Because she knew it would cause more pain to her brother and she had already caused enough pain to her brother.

"You won't be living here alone" Namjoon said effectively bringing Dahee back from her thoughts, into the present.

"What do you mean?" She frowned.

"My friend, Jung Hoseok. You remember him? He will be staying here with you"

Dahee felt cold all of the sudden. She doesn't want to be alone with an unknown man. Yes, Hoseok wasn't exact unknown; she had met him once or twice in past but still. She doesn't trust him.

"You don't need to do it! I can live by myself perfectly!" Dahee cried, unable to hide her anxiety about spending nights with unknown man. What if he tried something?

Namjoon saw the fear in her eyes.

"Don't worry, Dahee. Hoseok is a good person. He won't hurt you. I trust him." Namjoon tried to convince Dahee. "Besides, I can't leave you alone. I would be so worried in America."

Dahee saw the worried expression of her brother, how concerned he was for her safety. She doesn't want to make him more worried. Plus, if her brother considers Hoseok trustworthy then he must be.

"Okay" She mumbled.

Namjoon gave her an assuring smile.

"Don't worry kiddo! You can always call me if anything went wrong. I'll leave tour in the middle just to be beside you" He patted her head lovingly.

Dahee just smiled.