You Had Me At Hello

9: This Night Is Wild, So Calm And Dull

After the food arrived, we spent a few minutes arguing over what movie to watch. We finally settled for a comedy. We shared laughs, tears, and inside jokes for the duration of the movie. By the time it had ended, I had almost forgotten about the impending conversation. As I stood, Mikey looked over at me sympathetically.

"You heading home?"

"Yeah," I replied as Gerard stood up next to me and stretched.

"Well, I guess I'm gonna go to bed," Mikey said casually. Our eyes met for a second, and I saw both the anxiety and sympathy in his eyes.

"Okay. I'm going to walk her home," Gerard stated. Mikey nodded and came over to give me a hug.

"I love you. I'll see you tomorrow," I said as I hugged him back. He nodded and headed off towards his room as we headed out the front door. During the walk back, neither of us really said much of anything. When we arrived at my house, I invited him inside. After he entered, I shut the door behind him and emptied the contents of my pockets on the table by the door. I walked to the kitchen and began rifling through the cabinets until I found a bottle of wine. I tilted it towards him in offering.

"Wow, is it going to be so bad that I need a drink?" I shook my head.

"Nah, more like I will." I grabbed two glasses and poured the wine. I handed him a glass before taking my own and downing it. I poured myself another glass, drinking this one much slower. He raised a brow at me as he took a drink. I felt the warmth moving through my body. Well, it's now or never.

"So, I have thought about it..."I started. I took another big drink as he finished his first glass, before pouring us each another. He waited patiently for me to continue. "So, here's where I'm at. I really don't want you to take any offense to anything that I say, please." He took a drink and nodded. "That day I first talked to you. I really didn't know how it was going to go. I really didn't picture it going any further than being friends. I mean, you're my best friend's older brother." I took another drink. "So, like, even after we started to become friends, I just couldn't see myself being in any kind of romantically involved relationship with you." I finished my glass and poured yet another, as well as refilling his. He tilted his head.

"Is it really so hard to just tell me no? You have to be damn near drunk before you say it?" I laughed nervously.

"Be glad that it's just wine or we'd be doing shots right now." I felt the fuzzy feeling setting in. "Okay, so... Where was I... Oh, yeah... I just couldn't picture myself being romantically involved with you. Then, I got to thinking about it, right? We already do most of the stuff that regular couples do." I stopped to finish my glass. As I leaned back against the counter, I felt the alcohol taking effect. I glanced over at him. He seemed completely unfazed, other than his eyes being slightly glossed over. His demeanor seemed calm, as he stood propped against the island.

"So, where is this going?" He asked as he took one final drink. My brain was scrambling to form a sentence.

"Well, I mean... It's like, on the one hand, we already are kind of in a relationship. I mean, we do pretty much all the regular couple stuff. We hang out. We lay together. We hold hands. Hell, we've spent the night together more than once. I mean, it's already like we are together. On the other hand, I just don't know that I'm willing to risk ruining what we have. I'm definitely not willing to ruin my friendship with Mikey if this were to end badly." He seemed to think it over for a couple minutes before nodding.

"I get what you're saying." I watched him carefully, waiting for red flags to appear. "I guess I figured you'd say all that. Plus, I realize how soon it is. I know that, again, even though we have known each other for years, we only just recently started talking. I get it."