You Had Me At Hello

14: What is Love

 Two weeks had passed. It was Thanksgiving, and as was customary, I was in the kitchen with Donna, preparing dinner. I'd spent almost every moment of every day since my birthday at their house. At night, if I went home at all, Gerard would stay the night with me. Donna and I had been making small talk about the family traditions of Thanksgiving when she decided to change the subject.

"Can I ask you a question, dear?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Do you have any other relatives? In all these years, I've never met any of your family, with the exception of your father a handful of times."

"Um, no, ma'am. We were a small family. I never knew any of my aunts or uncles, and both sets of my grandparents died when I was really young. It was just my mom, my dad, my sister, and me. After my sister died, my mom... She got really messed up... Mentally... She's still alive, but she's in a mental institution. She doesn't even remember my name, so my dad didn't want me to visit her. He didn't want me to remember her that way... Anyway, so it was just me and my dad, but he was always gone. I guess that's why I have always loved being over her so much. It just reminds me of life before all of the dysfunction. You guys are really the only family I have left." I felt the tears well up, but I fought against them.

"Dear, we are absolutely blessed to have you here. I didn't mean to upset you. I was just curious, I suppose. I am very sorry that you have had to endure so much in your short life. Just know, you are always welcome here, and we genuinely consider you to be one of our own. It's been, what, a decade since you first started coming around, and we have loved you ever since." I smiled at her and nodded. I knew what she meant. We have been pretty close since the first day that Mikey brought me home with him.

"You opened your home to me," I said thoughtfully. "That is something that I will be forever grateful for." She wiped her hands on a towel and set it down as she turned to face me.

"You have given me my children back. You helped Mikey through a really tough time in his life, and you have done the impossible. You saved Gerard from the path of self-destruction that he was on. I'll tell you," she paused to turn the oven down. "As a mother, on both counts, I have never felt so darn helpless. I was losing my babies, and there was nothing that I could do, no matter how hard I tried. Mikey was a little bit easier to handle, although it broke my heart to see him so depressed. Gerard? I had many sleepless nights, wondering whether or not it would be the night that I would get that phone call. I watched him slip away, and I felt like such a failure. He was killing himself, you know, and I wanted him to get better, but nothing seemed to even begin to help. I was sure it wouldn't be much longer before I would have to bury my child, but then..." She wiped a tear from her cheek. "For some reason, you took an interest in him, and by the sheer Grace of God, he started to get better. My baby boy slowly turned back into himself. So, I suppose that is what I am most thankful for. Yes..." She trailed off as she shifted some things around on the counter. "I am most thankful for you." She shifted the conversation back to light-hearted small talk about the dinner as we continued making the food. She rinsed her hands and dried them before she turned to face me again. "May I ask you another question?" This time, I saw a mixture of both hope and concern in her eyes.

"Yes, ma'am."

"How serious is your relationship with him?"

"What do you mean?"

"I was just wondering if it was just a fling, or if it were something... Oh, I don't know... More permanent, I suppose."

"I'm still not really sure what you're asking me..." She sighed.

"Do you see a future with my son? Would you marry him, do you think?" I felt my eyes widen.

"Oh..." I wasn't sure how to respond to that.

"I didn't mean any time soon, and I didn't mean to put that kind of pressure on you. I'm sorry. It's really none of my business. Please, forgive a nosy mother," she prattled. I chuckled and shook my head.

"No, it's okay. Um, to be honest, I hadn't really thought about it." She seemed to think it over for a second.

"Do you love him? As in, truly love him? Or is it more of how you love Mikey?"

"I do love him. In fact, I can't really imagine my life without either of them in it," I replied honestly. She just smiled and resumed her cooking. The conversation again shifted back to lighter discussion of dinner, plans for the week, and weather. When dinner was finished, she sent me after the boys and Don. I stopped by the living room to alert Don on the way to Mikey's room. I popped my head in and as soon as I mentioned dinner, he bolted for the kitchen. I then went to fetch Gerard. I knocked lightly before entering. He looked up at me and smiled. He had been writing in his journal.

"Hey, food's ready."

"Thanks, sugar."

"Whatcha writing?" I asked nonchalantly. He closed the journal and returned it to its spot on his desk.

"Ah, nothing really. Just my good thing from the day." He stood up and walked over to me.

"Oh? And what would that be?" He put his hands on my waist.

"That today is our first Thanksgiving together, and that among other things, the thing that I'm most grateful for is you." He leaned in and kissed my forehead.

"You know what?"

"What's that?"

"I'm very grateful for you too."