You Had Me At Hello

15: Have You Ever Wanted To Disappear

 I awoke to the overwhelming feeling of nausea. I lay still, trying to let it subside, but it only got worse. I shot out of bed and bolted toward the bathroom. With each heave, my muscles contracted. When there was nothing left to come up, I sat back against the cool tile. My skin felt clammy, and my throat burned. Gerard stumbled to the door and rubbed his eyes. He looked down at me.

"Sugar, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just got sick."

"I'm sorry. Can I help?" I shook my head slowly, attempting to keep the nausea at bay.

"I'm fine. I think I'm just going to take a shower. It was probably just something I ate," I said in an attempt to calm his concern. He gave me a sympathetic half-smile before leaving me alone to clean myself up. Once I finished, I walked over to the sink and brushed my teeth. I looked into the mirror and studied my face. My eyes were sunken in like I hadn't slept in days. My skin was even paler than usual, and there was a slight green undertone. I rinsed my mouth and dried my face before making my way back to Gee.

"You feeling any better?" He asked softly. I shrugged as I walked over to the closet, searching for clothes to wear. "Well, I was supposed to go to one of Mom's friend's houses, but I can stay with you, if you'd rather?"

"No, it's okay. I was supposed to go Christmas shopping with Frankie anyway. No need to cancel on your parents," I assured him. He sighed.

"If you're sure that you'll be okay." I nodded as I pulled a shirt and a pair of pants out of the closet. As I got dressed, he waited patiently. Once I was ready to go, we walked back to their house, where Frankie was already waiting for me.

"Hey, chick," he greeted. "You ready to roll?" I smiled at him before turning back to Gerard. He raised a brow but didn't say anything.

"Well, I guess we're off." I leaned forward and kissed him. He smiled at me before nodding.

"Okay, sugar. We will hopefully be back around seven. I'll see you then," he said as he kissed me again.

"Alright, alright. We get it. You're madly in love. Can we go now? It's fucking freezing," Frankie asked impatiently. Gerard and I both chuckled.

"Alright. I guess I'll see you tonight," I said to Gerard as I turned towards the car. "I love you." He walked me to the car and opened the door for me.

"I love you too," he said as I slid inside the car. Frankie hopped in the driver's side. Gerard closed the door and stepped back as Frankie pulled away. There was only a few seconds of silence before Frankie chirped up.

"So, how are we doing?" I looked over at him.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I couldn't help but notice that you look like shit. Are you sick or something?"

"I don't know. I woke up sick this morning. Could've been something I ate." He glanced over at me for a second before looking back to the road.

"Well, what did you eat?" I thought for a moment, but I couldn't for the life of me remember when the last time I ate was. Before I could respond, he spoke again. "Are you sure it was just something you ate? Maybe you caught something. Or maybe... Maybe you picked up a little love parasite."

"A love- what the fuck is that even?" He looked over at me with seriousness in his eyes.

"Like, a food-stealing, life-draining creature conceived in the act of love?" I tried hard to wrap my head around what he was saying before it clicked. My mind instantly started to race. When was my last period? When did we have sex without some form of protection? How long has it been? Have I gained weight? "Earth to Taylor. Are you still with us?"

"Yeah," I whispered. He looked back to me with wide eyes.

"Oh no... You didn't... You aren't... Are you pregnant?"

"I don't know. I mean, I don't think so, but I can't remember when my last period was, or when we-"

"Ew, stop. So, you don't know. Well, on the way to the mall, we can stop and get you a test or something," he decided. I nodded, unsure of what else there really was to do. He pulled into a gas station, and we got out of the car. "Do you have to pee?"

"Kind of." We headed inside and went straight for the medical section. He grabbed a test and read the back.

"Okay, you go and take this," he declared as he opened up the box. He handed the test to me. "I'll get a couple drinks and go pay. You go get our results." I nodded and made my way to the bathroom. I stepped inside and locked the door behind me. I stared at the small pink and white stick. Well, here we go. After I peed on the end, I slid the cap back on and set it on the corner of the sink. I paced back and forth as I waited the required three minutes. Once enough time had passed, I checked to see the result. I stared in disbelief at the two pink lines that glared back at me. I put the test in my pocket and left the bathroom, heading straight for the car. Frankie was leaned up against the hood, looking at me expectantly.

"So, what's the verdict?" I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud. I pulled the test back out of my pocket and handed it to him. His eyes grew wide as he too saw the double lines. He looked back at me, shock clearly evident on his face. "Holy fuck, dude."

"Yeah, I know..." I took a deep breath. "Yeah..." There was nothing else that I could say. I was at a loss for words. He shook his head in disbelief.

"So, you're fucking pregnant. That's fucking crazy. What are you gonna do?" He asked with genuine concern in his voice. I just shrugged helplessly. "You gonna tell Gee?" My eyes widened at the thought. It hadn't yet occurred to me that I would need to tell him.

"I... I don't know... I mean, I kind of have to, don't I? Isn't that the right thing to do?"

"Well, morally? Probably. How do you think he's going to react? You think you're gonna keep it, or..." He stopped, but I knew where he was going with it.

"I couldn't do that... I don't know... I guess I should talk to him..." He just shrugged and turned back toward the car.

"I'd tell Mikey first," he suggested. "I mean, you don't know how Gee might react. You'd probably get a better read from Mikey on the situation."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I would hate for him to panic and relapse..." He nodded understandingly.

"Well, for now, let's get this off your mind. We have Christmas shopping to do. The boys will just have to wait."