The Extra Variable

Chapter 7

Thomas wakes me up the next morning.

“Newt, you’re eyes. They’re still puffy and red from crying. You cried yourself to sleep didn’t you?” Thomas asks.

I don’t answer him, but I sniff. Giving him the answer he was waiting for.

“You’re not acting like your normal take charge self, leaving everything up to Alby. Which Alby says he doesn’t mind, but he’s worried about his friend and his well-being."

I ignore him. Not wanting to talk to him about any of this.

Alby walks up moments later, signaling for Thomas to leave. “Newt, are you okay?” Alby asks, putting his arm on my shoulder.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I ask, shaking off the depressed persona.

“You haven’t been yourself lately, this is over that Mary girl isn’t?”

I don’t answer him, refusing to show weakness in front of him. I hadn’t since the incident last year, and I wasn’t about to show any sort of depressed or sad emotion with him again if I could help it.

“Newt. Thomas told me about the thing with Mary, about how she remembered that you had hurt her,” A tear or two falling down my cheeks as he spoke. “I know that it’s affecting you Newt. Don’t tell me it’s not. I’ve known you for too long to be fooled by this tough guy act.”

I walk away, not wanting to talk about it, because I knew if I did, I would start crying, and I couldn’t do that, not here, not in front of Alby or anyone else for that matter.

“Just go away. I don’t want to talk about it.”

”Newt.” Alby protests.

”What did I say Alby? Leave.” I stare up at the sky, and eventually I hear the crunch of grass under his feet, telling me he had left.

I start crying, but a silent cry. My quivering lips, and teardrops running down my cheeks the only indication.

Thomas comes and finds me about a half hour later, with a sandwich and some water.

“Newt, I think you need this.” I look down at him, a look of concern on his face.

“Thanks.” My voice a bit crackly, caused by the dryness in my throat from crying.

“Are you all right? Alby told me about things, and I’m in the same boat as you. Do you think I like someone talking in my buggin’ head every few minutes.”

“That’s not what this is about you slinthead. Before we came here, I hurt her, over Teresa. Don’t you remember?! You were standing right there!” I yell.

“I’m…sorry…Alby told me about that as well, I just didn’t think you’d be this upset for this long.”

“Well I am Tommy, don’t you get it? I hurt her, and now she’s freaking terrified of me. Do you know how much that hurts me? I’ve never felt like this before.”

“You like her don’t you?”

“No, I just…I don’t know…I’m confused and my head hurts. Can I just go back to sleep?”

“Okay, but promise me you’ll eat first, you haven’t eaten anything in two days.”

I take the glass and sandwich from his hands. “All right, but only because my stomach is starting to turn itself inside out. Not for you.”