thirteen months 》cal

//twelve//

song / color by the maine

photo / probs a cute couple or some shhit

keek / the one where ASHTONS GONE CRAZY

so we left off on cal's bday..lol funny cos its actually mikey's bday today aww :')

hope u like ~

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》11 months.

It's 10 days and 11 nights since I last saw Calum. I'ts not like I'm ignoring him or he's ignoring me. Neither one of us have crossed paths since that night. Not much's happened. I've been trying to figure out all this collage shít. So long story short, I got no where with that.

One of the days when I was home all alone, I cleaned Zeke's old room. Mum hasn't had the heart to go back in there since he left. Most of the time I just sat and adored all his belongings and little things he left behind. I found some shirts and sweat pants of his that seem to fit now and decided to keep them. It made my heart ache when they smelled like him.

I've been going back and forth from the music shop a few blocks down and right back home. Funny thing: Ashton works there. And when Ashton's around, so is Rora. As much of a surprise, I didn't mind at all. I would sit for hours and they'd pass me album after album. From the Beatles, to the Sex Pistols. From The Cab, to The Goo Goo Dolls. From people like James Taylor, to Hozier. Ron Pope, Taylor Swift, Yellow Card, NMH, the Arctic Monkeys, Radiohead, Metallica, Jack Johnson, FTSK, and all the others beyond our music libraries. And that's me not listing everything.

I hate to admit it but whenever I'm at the shop and it's only me and the two of them, I tended to watch them from afar and all the shit that went on with them. At times they'd have these little fights that most couples would turn into wars and not five minutes later forgive one another (both apologising even if it's only wrong from one end) and going back to be the best couple in the history of greatest couples I've ever known. When I'd watch them, I do . . . I get jealous. Then it's all of a sudden packing the tapes I want to take with me and heading home.

At times I'd think, maybe God is keeping me for someone worth waiting for. Other times I'd think, maybe I'm the one who's not worth all this time waiting for something that'll never happen.

The weather's been very bipolar lately. One day going warm enough to go out in shorts at noon until four. And other days it's colder than the North Pole. Even though I don't leave the house much, I know because when I'm in the garage adding the last touches, I can feel the outside temperature summed up in there.

That night, after debating whether going to bed smelling like motor oil is OK or not because tired and sore to the core of my body, like usual, I debate between the smarter choice of showering. So, I shower before bed and force myself to sleep so my mind doesn't wonder off anymore to make the fat-man-weight sitting on my chest any heavier. But at 2am all that changes.

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02.17

Column: meet me outside in 6

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02.19

crissy: it's 2.19

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02.19

Column: ur bak door

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02.20

criss: a.m., calum. /A.M./