VIKINGS || GYDA

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟐𝟓

|•|

Crowds awaited us as our ships arrived back in Kattegat. Stepping off I am welcomed by Helga who embraces me warmly. Something presses into my stomach—I am fast to push myself away as I look down her body. I erupt with a gasp of joy as I see that her dress is rounded by her swollen belly.

"Helga, you are with child!" She smiles brightly to me as she nods.

"The gods have blessed me." She is then swept off her feet as Floki leaps from the ship and takes her into his arms. He holds her close as he embraces her. Pulling apart, he kisses her lovingly.

I give them privacy as I move past the crowd and walk off the docks. I don't walk alone for long as someone takes a grip to my arm and pulls me closer to them.

"Follow me." He orders. My steps halt as he strides past me once more and makes his way into the town. I pick up my pace as I see him enter into a hut. I am sure to check that no one watches me as I follow him in.

There I find him standing among hay stacks with an unreadable face. There was a heavy tension. Whether it was desire or anger, I could not say. Though it's revealed to be the latter as he speaks.

"How could you awaken my longing for you, if you were just going to leave."

I don't hide my conflict, "You know why. Ecbert would have killed us all then and there if I didn't agree."

He chuckles dryly as he shakes his head, "He would not have. We'd have slit his throat before he could call for his guards."

"Then what Nels? War? The reason I accepted was to stop the fighting. Too many had already perished and I was in a position to stop it all."

He tugs on the skin of his lip as he looks to the wall, not able to look to me any longer, "You shouldn't have let him corner you. You should have let your brother accept."

"You will not proceed to tell me that I should have let my brother take my place." He's treading on thin ice.

"Are you not younger? He is an older brother, if he wishes to protect you is that not his prerogative?"

"What does it matter Nels? It's done!"

As I feel tears begin to brim I am quick to turn to the door. He does not follow me as I make an effort to slam the door shut with great force.

What was his thinking? Did he think I was glad for what has been decided? He was a fool if so. My heart was broken. I had finally started to find my bearings in my life with my family and it was about to be uprooted—taken from me once again.

|

"Sister!"

As I enter the great hall I am quick to hide my sorrow with a smile as two little boys come running towards me.

I bend down with my arms extended. When they finally clashed into me I wasted no time in holding them as close as I could. I had missed them dearly. It pained me to think of how I had missed the start of their lives and now I was to miss even more.

"By the gods look at how big you boys have grown! you are both going to grow into fine warriors." I wink to them. They only giggle while nodding their heads. They them proceed to each grab my hand and lead me to where their wooden swords were placed, showing me how they were ready to come on raids.

After a while they became too wrapped up in sparing with each their, with that I back away to join everyone else in the hall.

Most sit around the fire pit talking. I look over to the door and see my father leaning against it. I hold his gaze as I begin to walk over to him—he jerks his eyes away and slips out the door.

I was taken back. With my anger from Nels still raw within me, I feel a rage ignite as I follow him outside.

I was sick of this silent treatment. I had unwillingly given myself up for the chance that my family would be safe and my people could prosper in new lands in peace—and he thinks he can avoid me?

He had only walked a few steps away from the hall before I roughly pull his shoulder back, thus leading to him turning fully with a warning look on his face, like he was about to lose it.

"You will not ignore me any longer." I seethe the words like venom through my teeth, "I sacrifice everything and yet I have never felt so alone. I don't want your silence or your disapproving looks, I just want my father!" My voice had raised at this point.

The tears were flowing now, my hands violently swiped them off each time they fell but it sadly couldn't keep up with their pace.

Bjorn had made his way out from the hall now, "Gyda, what is going on?"

I laugh bitterly as I shake my head to the both of them, "I'm just trying to understand why I am seemingly being punished for trying to do the right thing."

He raises his finger to me with his lips parted ready to spit a reply but he drops his hand and looks to me defeated.

"How wrong you are child—I cannot bare to be around you because every time I look to you I am reminded of what deal was struck at Wessex. I am reminded that my young daughter is being used like a pawn. I hate myself for letting it happen, for not being able to protect you as a father should." His finger digs deep into his chest.

"I hate myself." He whispers to himself coldly, "I've only just got you back and now I'm having to lose you all over again. It's my fault. I should have protected you better. Bjorn feels the same way. The gods know that we would happily go to war with Ecbert if it meant you would be free."

I shake my head lightly as I take his hands, "Then you'd have countless deaths on your hands. I understand why you feel this way but please understand that I do this for us—No it was not my intention to ever leave my family and be bound to England but it was my choice to agree." He only looks to our connected hands.

"You could never lose me father. I will always be in your heart as you will be in mine. We are bound by blood—we will always find each other again."

He finally meets my eyes, his face is placid and accepting. I knew then that he could let me go. He pulls me into his chest. His long arms encircle me, his hand comes to rest on my hair as he strokes it gently. I relished in his love, it was something I had been deprived of for many years and will most certainty be something I will yearn for when I am in England.