Love Me Not - {riren au}

Love Me Not ~ 2

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Eren's rejection became something that no longer hurt as much. He knew he couldn't sulk forever.

All throughout high school he stayed away from relationships. They were a distraction to him, and they always failed when he tried.

When he was fifteen he took a girl to the fall dance. At the end of the night when he walked her home, she leaned in for a kiss and Eren ran.

He thought it was because he was still hung up on Levi, but he really just wasn't as attracted to girls. He knew at that point that he preferred men. Only Armin and Mikasa knew. Why come out if he wasn't going to be dating anyways?

Along with despising dating, he was now eighteen and close to graduating. He was in the spring of his final year and walked through the same halls Levi had once walked.

Eren ate lunch on the roof he had confessed his feelings on four years earlier. It wasn't something he let take over his life, although it had turned him off from relationships completely.

He couldn't blame Levi. It wasn't Levi's fault that he didn't know him or feel the same. Eren still had some negative feelings towards him that he would never express though.

Levi was still someone Mikasa saw a few times a year at family events. Right after the rejection, Eren would ask Mikasa about Levi whenever she did go spend time with her family. That eventually ended and he could care less. Mikasa still went and was glad that Eren stopped asking, because Levi soon moved on and started bringing someone around. A woman.

Mikasa didn't want to break that news to him. She knew it would hurt. Withholding that information wasn't right either, which led to her struggling constantly over it. Did she tell him and see him upset? Or not tell him and risk Eren finding out somehow and being angry with her?

-

Eren's plans for after graduation were simple. He was attending a school nearby and commuting from home. That gave him the opportunity to work at a bookstore near home that he always visited with his mom growing up.

Mikasa did the same, not ready to leave home. She liked living with Eren and his father, Grisha. She felt content and wanted no change. Armin lived with his grandfather and stayed in town as well. He was getting old and needed someone to care for him. That was Armin's only family, so he wanted to cherish the last few years he shared with him.

The group was still close as ever, and were glad to have each other in the next chapter of their lives. While most friends were getting ready to say goodbye, they weren't. They graduated together and knew they'd still be together.

Once graduation passed, it was time to get working. He had a summer to get adjusted at his job before college started in late August. His summer job also helped with college expenses. Grisha had been a doctor in the past, which caused them to live comfortably and be able to support Eren and Mikasa. Once Karla, Eren's mother, passed, he no longer worked at a doctor's office. As a pediatric doctor, he was still involved when it came to scholarly articles and research, which kept them afloat.

Their financial situation became tough, but Eren couldn't judge his father. Eren lost his mother, Grisha lost his wife. She was someone important to both of them and they coped differently.

-

"I'm so happy it's summer." Eren walked with Mikasa and Armin down the sidewalk. "I can't believe high school is over. We're free." He took a deep breath with his arms outstretched above his head. "I feel so much weight off of my shoulders.

"Don't forget about college, dummy." Mikasa nudged her best friend and watched as Armin nodded in agreement.

"The fun has just begun." Armin said sarcastically, smiling at Eren. "I'm sure you'll like college more though. It's a lot more  flexible than high school."

"Yeah and I won't have a constant reminder of my idiotic decision to fall in love at fourteen." Eren joked.

"You'll be able to forget about that completely." Mikasa added. "You can find a nice guy and I'm sure Grisha would be really happy. I don't know why you're afraid to tell him."

Eren raised an eyebrow. "Have you met my father? Ugh, I wish mom was here. She would be able to talk sense into him. She always said she'd love me no matter what."

"I'm sure she's proud of who you've become, Eren." Mikasa rested a hand on Eren's shoulder. "And I'm sure Grisha has that same unconditional love towards you like Karla did. I don't know what gave you the impression that he wouldn't be accepting."

"I just don't feel ready to tell him. I have no reason to tell him. It's not like I'm in a relationship or anything." Eren shrugged and stopped walking when they made it to the bookstore. "Thanks for walking me to work on my first day guys." Before Mikasa and Armin could speak more about the topic of him coming out to his father, he slipped inside of the store.

Mikasa and Armin could only wave and watch their friend leave.

"I don't know why he's so nervous." Mikasa looked at Armin.

"I mean I can see why. It's a lot to tell someone. That's something so personal and I think the fact we know means he really trusts us." Armin walked back towards their neighborhood with Mikasa. "I'm sure it'll work out though."

"Yeah.." Mikasa still had the weight of not telling Eren that she saw Levi with someone on her chest. Was that something Eren would care about though? She thought he'd be hurt, but he might just shrug and move. She was so conflicted.

"What's wrong? You look like you're in deep thought, Mikasa." Armin raised an eyebrow and watched his friend.

"I need to tell you something, but you can't tell Eren." Mikasa stopped walking and sat on the bench.

Armin sat with her and frowned. "I thought there were no secrets between us."

"This is recent and I don't know if telling him would hurt him. I also don't want to hold the information. It's bad either way and I was going to keep it to myself, but I need your opinion." Mikasa rested her hands in her lap and turned to Armin.

Armin watched, tilting his head. "Okay, you can tell me. I'll try to help."

"So, when I went to that family gathering recently, Levi was there. Sometimes he's there, sometimes he's not, which I think led to Eren stopping asking about him. He started showing up again and at the last meeting brought someone. A woman." Mikasa spoke quietly, as if Eren could hear them. "She was really pretty, a brunette with glasses."

"Did he say they were dating?" Armin asked, running a hand through his hair.

"No, I only exchanged a few words with Levi that night. Also, he seemed kind of cold to this person. Which made me think they weren't, but I'm pretty sure they are." Mikasa assumed. "I just feel bad for not saying anything to him."

"You're trying to protect him. It could go two ways. You tell him and he doesn't care, or you tell him and he tries not to care, but is bugged by it." Armin sighed.

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