Three words. Who knew three words could make a person's world stop spinning.
"W-what are you.. saying?" My lips trembled as I reach my dresser for some support.
I can't take this. My heart being slowly cut into two, I can't believe this! We were just fine.. weren't we? Why is he breaking up with me?! Can anyone atleast try to enlighten me what is happening because I am not gonna let this happen and end with my heart broken.
"Let's break up. I'm tired of this relationship. I want out." He coldly told it could barely sink in my brain because my tears started flowing already.
"W-why.." My voice broke. "Why are are you doing this? You're hurting me.."
"I'm sorry."
I wiped my tears immediately and stand up from my seat. Jisoo followed me right after. I forgot I'm still in a middle of rehearsal for my debut stage this afternoon at Music Core. But as soon as she saw my face, worried was evident on her face.
"What's wrong?" She asked.
I shook my head and bit my lips. I turn to my phone and saw the call ended even before I could even say something or ask something.
I don't understand why is he breaking up with me when we were just so happy all this time. I finally able to reach my dream to debut as an artist. Among anyone he was the happiest from me. He even said he was proud of me.
He loves me.
"Are you alright? We still have to pre-record the two scenes for the change fits. Make yourself ready.." She was about to turn her back when she face me again. "We'll talk later. Whatever that is, it will be alright."
Jisoo's smile comforted me a bit.
I'm right. Kai loves me. I know it. He wouldn't break up with me without a reason. There must be a reason.
"Jen, it's already passed midnight! Why would you go out at this hour? It's dangerous! And what if some sasaengs would stalk you again?!" Jisoo's lament booms inside my four corner room.
"I just need to go somewhere." I need to talk to him. "It's important."
"What could be more important with your debut stage at inkigayo tomorrow?"
I gulp. I guess, I just have to lie. For once, I need to do it. For the sake of my sanity. I lied to my manager who is also my friend. I lied to Jisoo for the first time.
I drove all the way from my building to his apartment. My body is trembling from all the peak emotions. And when at last I saw him, my heart breaks once again and my tears started falling.
"No. I don't want a break up. You hear me, Kai? You are not breaking up with me!"
His jaw angled in an annoyed clench before his words cut me deep once again.
"Then you stay in this relationship because I'm fucking done." He turn his back but my hands has it's own mind and pulled him to stop.
"Why are you doing this? You promised me! You promised me you won't hurt me but why am I hurting right now?! Why are you breaking up with me?!" I started crying hysterically but his cold shoulder won't deter.
"Then I'm also breaking my promise. Let's break up. I'm tired, Jen. Can't you see? This is not the world I want to live with you."
"Y-you want me to give up my career? You want me to choose you? Is that what you want?"
Funny is, I started hoping for a second. I'm willing to drop everything just for us or maybe I'm too hurt to even think things. Or maybe I'm just completely out of my mind.
"No. I just don't want to continue this anymore. Let's just stop. I don't love you anymore."
I couldn't hold on it any longer and burst into tears along with my sobs. I cried with his back facing me. I cried for the love that failed me. I cried for my broken heart that's been shattered to pieces that night.
I don't know how long he stood there or how long did I cried but as soon as my tears stop, I stop from crying and mustered all the courage left in me to speak.
"You said you don't love me.. at least.." My voice shake and my heart slowly breaking once again. "..look at me in the eyes and tell me that yoh don't love me anymore."
Because I hope he wouldn't. I hope he still love me. I hope, it's us until the end.
But I failed.
"I'm sorry. But I don't love you anymore.."
I gasped, couldn't really exactly believe what he said while feeling the pain that slowly started ripping off my chest.
"Or maybe, you already fell for someone else. Right?" I laughed without any humor with my tears still falling. "Because I don't see any reason for you to fell out of love if you haven't found a new one."
And that shit fucking hurts.
I close the distance between us and reach him for a big slap. I know it would sting base on the sound it created but I'm too hurt to care.
I'm too fucking hurt to care! And I don't care because I fucking hate him for hurting me!
"I'm sorry."
"You should be.." I let off a mocking smirk before I tiptoed to reach his ear to whisper. "Because I swear to God the moment I get over you, you'd cry a fucking river. I promise you that."
You messed with the wrong girl Kim Jongin.
*
Soompi @soompi Jennie is the first KPOP Soloist with her debut single "DDDD" to spent 40 weeks in a row and will continuously expected to set another more roofhits and snatching music show wins! All hail to the new Queen of Breaking Records!
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