kjn.
"You're leaving YGK+?"
"Yes." I smiled.
"Honestly, I'm not happy with your decision. Calvin Klein even wants you to pose for a new magazine cover!" I didn't react and remained smiling. "Jen, are you sure about this?"
I nodded and did not said anything.
"I like music the most.."
It shocked everyone after I announced I'm quitting modeling and decided to pursue my biggest dream to be a composer/lyricist at THE BLACKLABEL.
But it was not my real reason.
The truth is..
"You have a stage four Brainstem Glioma. I'm sorry."
"..the symptoms shows depends actually on the location of the tumor and its specific type.." Doctor Bae sigh realizing I'm still zoning out after she drop the bomb. "Miss Kim?"
"Y-you're kidding, right?" I tried to chuckle but my tears were already started falling.
She must be kidding! I'm not dying! I can't be possibly die right now!
"I'm so sorry."
Fuck.
"If the brainstem glioma is in the tectum of the midbrain, it usually causes hydrocephalus and in turn cause headache, nausea and vomiting as the main symptoms, and other symptoms such as limb weakness are rare.."
No! I'm not dying! Who the hell have the right to tell me when should I die? This is my fucking body! I'm not sick and I'm not dying!
"..Brainstem gliomas occurring in the midbrain tegmentum and medulla, on the other hand, often cause limb weakness, abnormal gait, and difficulty in walking or standing." Doctor Bae once again sigh before lifting her hand to reach mine. "In your case, your it is in tectum of the midbrain as shown by the results of your CT Scan as well your symptoms."
"Why?" It was all I could say.
"I'm so sorry.."
I want to live. I have so many things to do and haven't done yet. I didn't even have a boyfriend yet. I was so busy chasing my dreams.
And my Mom. She's still in Florida. She will be here next month and thinking about how to tell her my condition already broke my heart to pieces. I don't have the heart to break it to her just like that.
Jongin's face flashes in front of me, as if he was a real hologram it calms me for a bit. His smiling face gave me courage to stand up and walkout the room.
I couldn't believe this. This is not happening.. but who am I kidding?
"I haven't come up with a new song yet. I'll tell you when I'm working on something.."
Teddy oppa tsked and rather ruffled mt hair before gesturing me to leave. I waved my goodbye wearing the biggest smile although I felt like hell in the inside.
"You leaving already, eonni?" Chaeng kissed my cheeks before looking behind me.
"Yes. I'll see if I come up with something tonight.." I smirked.
