talk || book 7 of 'she's a dixon'

chapter 6

" reagan what the hell were you thinking?" rick yelled entering the house. right when he stepped foot in the door, i stood up from where i was sitting with carl and turned around to make my way towards our room. 

"no, sit down. now." rick yelled even louder than the first time. i ignored him and started walking up stairs. " reagan cherokee dixon" rick yelled at the top of his lungs. he has never raised his voice at me until now. 

 i stopped walking up the stairs, but i didn't turn around. i can't face him right now. 

"carl can you give us a minute" rick asked carl softly. seconds later, carl leaned over to my ear and whispered "it'll be okay". he then made his way up the stairs and went towards our bedroom.

"what the hell has gotten into you?" rick asked with his voice still raised. tears started forming in my eyes. "you can't be doing shit like that reagan, you are going to get everyone killed including yourself. in case you forgot, i am the one in charge here. what happened back there was not your decision to make. i understand that negan pushes your buttons, but you need to watch your attitude around him. you've already gotten glenn and abraham killed. you need to stop before someone else dies because of you" rick said lecturing me. 

rick has never gotten angry at me before. 

"look i'm sorry! what else do you want me to say?" i yelled at rick turning around and facing him. tears were streaming down my face and i saw the look of regret in his face. 

"rae i'm sorry-" rick started. but before he could finish i started running up the stairs and towards mine and carl's room. 

running into our bedroom, i quickly shut the door behind me and saw carl sitting on the ground since both of our beds were gone. immediately he stood up and wrapped his arms around me. 

"hey it's okay" carl whispered to me and i cried into his shoulder. "all of this is my fault" i said between the tears. "no it's not. dad is just upset right now and he let it out on you. he didn't mean any of it" carl said trying to comfort me. 

 i let go of him and wiped the tears off my face. " i'm going to hilltop. i need to pay my respects" i said quietly to carl. "you can't leave right now. dad will stop you" carl said trying to change my mind. "no one can stop me" i said going over to the window. 

" i'm going with you" carl stated walking over to me. "no you're not. nobody else is going to die because of me" i stated repeating rick's words. 

" i'm going with you" carl repeated more firmly. "okay" i said knowing i wouldn't be able to change his mind. "you ready?" carl asked me. "right now?" i asked him. "lets go" carl said letting me know that if we're going to hilltop we're going now. 

exiting our bedroom together, we walked down the stairs in silence hoping rick wouldn't notice us. but sitting at the dining room table was rick with his head in his hands. "please stay together" rick said quietly. "okay" carl responded for the both of us.

when walking down the porch steps, i felt carl's hand brush against mine. without hesitation i grabbed onto it, and we made our way to the front gate hand in hand. 

"were are you going" eugene asked since he was on shift. "out" i responded letting go of carls hand so that i could open the gate. 

once i opened the gate, carl and i walked through it, and carl shut it back. "should we have taken a car?" carl asked once we started walking along the road. "nah" i responded. 

for a while we walked in silence. i knew how to get to hilltop by heart. "you don't talk anymore, not to anyone. not to me." carl said quietly. i could hear in his voice that he was hurt. 

 i didn't know how to respond, so i didn't say anything. "reagan please, i just want to help you" carl said in desperation. " i'm sorry" i whispered with tears once again forming in my eyes.

" i don't know what has happened with negan, but whatever it is we can get through it together. okay?" carl said softly. i nodded my head. 

carl stopped walking and grabbed onto my hand. " i love you" carl said as i made eye contact with him. " i love you too" i said. carl slowly started leaning in and i did the same. right as we kissed, a walker sounded from behind us. 

"okay, hilltop we go" i said with a sigh. 

a/n

okay, why do i actually like writing filler chapters