Clarity ~ m.c.

•Chapter 16•

***Lauren's POV***

I came home from gymnastics angry and overwhelmed as hell. I was so pissed off at my aunt and uncle for not telling me that they knew I had been rejected for trying out and they didn't tell me! Who do they think they are? This is my life, they don't get to decide what they can and cannot tell me about, especially when it involves my future.

Pulling in the driveway and storming into the house I marched back towards the kitchen and found them putting food together in bowls and plates, almost like they were getting ready for a party.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me I was rejected?" I screamed at them.

"What are you talking about?" Uncle Tom said taken off guard by my reaction.

"Don't play dumb with me! Why didn't you tell me I was rejected to try out for the Olympic team?" I spit at them.

"How did you find out?" Aunt Sue asked.

"Brendan told me! He also told me that you two have known since my last competition! You knew for two weeks that I was rejected and didn't bother to tell me something so important that would affect my future!" I yelled waving the letter of rejection that Brendan gave me before I left in their face. "Now why didn't you tell me!" I demanded for the third time now.

"We don't think you should go to the Olympics!" My aunt yelled matching the tone of my voice.

I felt like I was just punched in the gut, my legs became weak and I struggled to stay standing. I really thought I was going to throw up for a second. My own guardians don't believe in me. As if being told I was rejected from trying out for the Olympic team was enough for one day, now this.

"Wha- what?" I breathed, not believing what I was hearing; a mix of hurt and tears filling my eyes.

"We don't think you're going to make the Olympic team." My aunt added some further In sight to her comment.

"How could you say that?" I demanded now becoming furious that she said that. "Do you not believe in me?"

"It's not that we don't believe in you Lauren, we're just being practical! You have one in a million chance of making the team even if you were an Australian citizen. . . Maybe you should take this as a sign and qui-" my aunt started to say

"Don't you fucking dare finish that sentence?" I yelled at her.

"First off you need to lower your voice young lady, second we do not use that language in this house and third you need to change your attitude!" My aunt scolded me.

"Or what?" I yelled. "Your already shooting down my dreams like their nothing what could you possible do to me that would be worse than any other thing I've fucking been through my whole life! You know what this sport means to me! If you didn't believe in me from the start why did you let me join the gym? Why did you let me get my hopes up! Like seriously who do you think you are?"

"Lauren Marie Jacobs I am your mother and you will treat me with respect!" She screamed and as soon as she said those words you could tell she immediately wanted to take them back. Her eye quickly glazed over with tears and she cupped her hand over her mouth.

I stood there in shock to what she just said. My whole body became numb and I could barely support myself. I felt like I was just shot; yeah that seems like a good reference. The pain and anger I feel right now over the fact that my aunt just called herself my mom outraged me. Her tone towards me quickly changed as she tried to walk a few steps towards me, but I took a few steps back.

"Lauren, sweetie, I'm so sorry, I didn't-" she began and I cut her off.

"Save it. My mom would never make me stop gymnastics; she would never stop believing in me or my dream. You will never be anything like my mom!" I spit at her, as tears rolled down my face.

I could see the hurt fill her eyes like my words just stabbed her heart, but she broke mine. I quickly turned and ran upstairs slamming my door shut letting out such a loud scream you could probably hear it from Michael's house. I felt like I was being beaten by my dad all over again but 100x worse. I felt like I was dying. I wanted to let my anger out on something, anything. Seeing my many gymnastics trophies on a shelf hanging on my wall I walked over taking one of them and threw it across the room, hearing glass shatter at the receiving end of my throw.

Walking over to where the broken glass was, I saw the triangular frame my mom's American flag that was on her casket and folded into a nice triangle was placed in, in shambles on the floor and the most recent picture I had of us before she left for her second tour in Iraq, I had framed standing next to it on my bedside table in ruins from my tantrum.

What have I done? I thought to myself as I picked up the flag and finally not being able to hold my emotions in any longer I burst into tear, crying my eyes out harder than I ever had before. Holding onto the little piece I had left of my mom in my arms, for dear life.