BATIM Oneshots

Is It Worth It?

[ TRIGGER WARNING! If you don't like the thought or anything to do with suicide, then please don't read this! sorry! ]

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Is it worth all the pain? Is it worth to go through all of this trouble just for one person, when in the end they won't even notice you? Why would you put yourself through all of this pain?

Maybe because you want someone there for you? Maybe because you need someone to tell you it's ok? To tell you that you are worth something?

Or maybe you just need someone to recognise the things you have done so you don't feel useless or expendable.

He knows that these tears aren't worth it. It's useless crying over people who don't care. But they won't stop. They flow like a river down his cheeks and onto the floor.

He has given up on everything. Trying to be nice to everyone, making friends, his job......his life.

Because what's the point if your not happy? What's the point if there's nothing left for you? No one is there to pick you up when you fall. No one is there to say it's ok when you fail. No one is there to give you a hug when you're at your lowest.

So, I ask, is it worth it?

Maybe just a few cuts along the wrist. Maybe a few more pills. Maybe the rope out in the shed....

It all wouldn't matter anyway. No one loves him. No one has ever taken a second glance at him. No one will ever remember the name Shawn Flynn.

He has to fake it all. Walking into work with a smile, laughing along to something someone said, when in reality he wants to leave. He want's to crawl up into a ball and not exist. He hates feeling this way, but he knows it won't ever go away.

Making toys is all he's ever done. He doesn't have anything good for him in the future. So, what's the point?

What's the point in faking it all the time when no one cares? Its not worth it. He's not worth it.

There is no happy ending for him. He doesn't deserve a happily ever after anyway.

The razor blade is starting to look inviting. The pills are starting to look appetising. The rope won't stop calling.

Shawn can't handle the pain anymore.

So, he might take those pills up on there offer.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Fix.

Seven.

Eight.

Nine.

Ten.

Eleven.

Twelve.

Thirteen.

All downed. Now he just has to wait. All his suffering and pain will end.

Shawn smiled. He can't remember the last time he smiled. His eyes started to drop, he knew what was coming and he excepted it. He will be free. And no one can stop him.

"Goodbye."

he went limp. His breathing stopped. He's gone. But, at least he went with a smile.

*RING RING*

*RING RING*

*RING RING*

*RING RING*

"You have 1 missed call from 'Grant'.

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Vent....

sorry.. I just needed to get something out.

I promise that the next chapter will be a happy one!