" I can hear you "
I zoomed in on my camera on the Mooney's bookstore watching as he just stared into space as he wrote. Maybe this is how I'll spend the rest of my love life just watching him. I was about to take another picture but someone walked in someone that I've been itching to get rid of. Guinevere Beck just flirting and talking to Joe. I tried to think nothing of it but then something happened...she kissed him and he kissed back.
I pulled down my camera my tears blurring my vision. The only thing I felt coursing through me was rage, blinding rage I refuse to give you up not now not ever Joe you will be mine even if I have to kill her for it! I walked home tears plaguing my face as I felt my thoughts go blank. I started rummage through my drawer. I need something anything to get my mind off of this I just don't want to feel this sad again! I pulled out a syringe filled with a clear liquid and a pack of pills. I stabbed my arm with the syringe instantly feeling calm and relaxed and swallowed the white pill. I laid on the ground everything in my vision was swirling and I started to black out.
Joe pov
This is it,I've decided that I will go with you, Beck I've already done so much I can't just abandon it now. Maybe Y/N will just forget about me... WHO AM I FUCKING KIDDING SHE'S-she's going to be devastated she obviously was interested in me but I kept showing her how untrustworthy I am especially when I just flirted with Beck that day. God I'm such an idiot but I can't afford to expose myself to these emotions now I finally have Beck I just have to go with it. Now I have a girlfriend who I don't really know if I like just laying next to me every morning.I watched as Beck woke up from her sleep only to kiss me and we'd start going at it. Every morning we had the same routine; sex,shower, more sex, breakfast and helping her write. I knew that she needed someone consistent after her father and Benji so I'll be that person. Heck I even did her laundry but the evenings weren't so great dealing with Beck's friends was aggravating to say the least but I put up with it. All for her but I couldn't keep my mind off of that naive little girl that lives just across the street oh Y/N how you tempt me. Maybe I'll visit sometime tomorrow?
Y/N POV
I woke up from my drug induced coma to a growling stomach and the doorbell ringing. It's probably Nin which reminds me that I better change out of these clothes "I'll be there in a minute" I yelled frantically stripping my clothes off in throwing on a robe. " Nin if that's you I told you to-oh!" I opened the door expecting Nin or Adam but guess what the cat dragged in Joe Goldberg himself. "I'm sorry I didn't know it was you" I laughed running my fingers through my messy hair "Yeah just wanted to stop by and see if you wanted some breakfast to make up from the craziness I put you through" he laughed nervously. "Yeah sure just let me get ready you could wait inside if you want I won't take long" I invited him inside "I don't think I've had the chance to say it before but nice place you got here" he told me as I entered my bathroom "Yeah it's cozy and great thing is that I can do whatever I want in here" I giggled turning on my shower and get my self smelling as fresh as a rose. "Must be nice" he replied our conversation died down after that and I focused on getting dressed in something light and cute. "Okay Joe I'm ready " I stepped out of the bathroom fully dressed to see him just sitting on the couch. "Okay let's go" I smiled at his eagerness and walked out the door with him. I felt chilly outside so I'm glad I decided to slip on a cardigan before we left but Joe looked nervous his whole demeanor was off so I tried t9 start a conversation. " So how are you and your girlfriend?" Just a simple question really "Great actually right now she's at her job so I decided to kill some time" I said I only made a noise of agreement before going back to my thoughts. So I'm just a way to kill time am I ? I was fuming but like I've always done I kept it in and put my best face forward. " So I've been meaning to ask you something" I turned my attention back to him "Why did you come to New York I remember when we first met you said that you just moved here six months ago" he asked "I came here to be free and try other things" I told him a simple answer he doesn't need to know my baggage yet "What kind of new things?" his eyebrow raised at my statement and I felt my cheeks heat up at this point. "J-just photography and dancing along with a bunch of other stuff it's really old at this point" I tried to shoo the question off but he insisted. "Trust me we have time" he laughed we came up to a small cafe and he opened the door for me. "A gentleman how chivalrous" I said "Well all beautiful ladies need to be treated with respect madam" his fake British accent was hilarious and I felt as if I was in heaven as we sat down at a booth to order our food. "Joe I'm sorry if this seems a little brash but I wanted to know why are you so interested in me all of a sudden I mean wouldn't your girlfriend be-" "No no no it's completely fine besides this is just an apology meal to make up for the fact that we got off on the wrong foot" he told me but I could see through all his little white lies Your precious Beck would hate to see you and I together you lie right through your teeth yet make it seem so believable but not me Joe not me."But anyways I just want us to be friends and the best way to get friends in my opinion is to feed them" he called over a waitress ordering us almost everything on the menu. " Well Joe you're right about one thing food is the way to anyone's heart and I just so happen to be a huge foodie" I smirked I could see his blush start creeping up his neck but I had to be patient very patient. "So tell me a little about yourself Y/N" he asked " Well what do want to know?" I questioned him
"Let's start off easy favorite book?" A bibliophile through and through "The Great Gatsby" I replied thinking of a book that might convey my feelings to him in a subtle way. "Interesting" he stroked his imaginary chin hairs as our food was set down in front of us "Favorite movie?" He asked "It's not The Great Gatsby if you were wondering but oooh that's a tough one maybe Pride,Prejudice,and Zombies?" I laughed his face was awestruck in shock "You wound me madam" he started munching on some eggs "What it's a decent movie" I shrugged playfully as I ate a piece of eggs from his plate. Out of the corner of my eye I felt the flash of a camera on me "What the hell?" Joe looked outside s seeing a reporter taking pictures of me and soon more people started flooding outside the cafe. The lights were enough to take me back to that dark place in my childhood the place I never wanted to remember or step foot in again." Y/N come practice your spins right this instant young lady!"
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Dedicated ( Joe Goldberg x reader)
FanfictionI wanted him... more than anything in this world