"I can feel you"
I've never experienced a happy childhood Joe, everything always seemed to fall apart around me and no matter how much I tried to fix it...it broke into even more pieces. My mother Dia L/N, is the granddaughter of a rich socialite with her being an only child she inherited all her grandparent's wealth. Everything from their house to their businesses she had it all and I guess you could say she was living a dream but on the inside she wasn't. You see my mother had gotten pregnant with me early in life at around 21 and my father was a 19 year old broke art college student but they made it work. At least that's what I thought...
"YOU'VE BEEN GOING OUT WITH OTHER MEN DIA?!" My father had figured out that my mother was cheating and he was devastated. I mean what did you expect she's basically an heiress and every rich man wanted her but at least he did the smart thing and found the courage to leave but I have to say I've always admired my dad he's always had something I didn't and that was his courage and dignity. Even though my mom had begged him and bribed him to come back he stood his ground and never did. They had shared parental rights over me so my father can at least come and see me from time to time but that soon changed when my mother threatened him to come back using me. "Jordan I said I was sorry it was just a one time fling are you really going to keep avoiding us like this?!" She was arguing with him while I slept in my fathers arms. It was one of the weeks where he came to visit and we had played for hours on end to the point I started dozing off while we were watching Beauty and the Beast. "I'll make sure you'll never see her again if you don't come back!" She screamed which woke me up. My father's expression was in disbelief. "You're really going to do that when you're the one who's wrong are you serious Dia" he still kept his voice low to a whisper thinking I was still asleep. "Y-yes you have to understand Jordan I'm really sorry it really meant nothing" my mother was crying practically sobbing at this point but my dad was smart enough to see through her bullshit. "Ok then I guess I won't be able to see you for a while Bumblebee" my dad kissed my forehead setting me down on the couch to sleep more comfortably but I sat up fully awake now. "You're not serious are you?! You're really going to leave her without a father?!" My dad grabbed the keys to his car and started to walk out the door. "She'll still have a dad I'll still love her more than anything in the world but I will not raise her with your twisted version of a family" he left that day and I felt so alone but deep down I knew he was right.
I have to tell you if there was one person I'd never be mad at it was my father because although he left me behind he had too much dignity, pride, and self respect to be held down by a woman like my mother and so I stayed with her for 18 years of my miserable life and oh how she reveled in it. I was treated as if I was a trophy Joe, I was forced into skating competitions, pagents, and balls just so she could show other nouveau riche how accomplished I was,how accomplished HER daughter was ,how accomplished SHE was. I utterly hated it I hated HER that was until I found him.
He was looked as if he was straight out of a fairy tale;dark brown colored hair with light green colored eyes made my dull heart light up with joy. I met him at one of the balls my mother forced me through and he was the heir of a wealthy oil company. His father encouraged him to socialize with me and soon we became close friends. I didn't want to be just his friend I wanted him,all of him to myself so I made myself into the perfect girl for him. I spoke a certain way , I acted a certain way, I even dressed a certain way just to please him and when it all came down to the moment I asked him to be my boyfriend at a school dance Joe he laughed. He humiliated me like all my efforts were nothing and even said he was only my friends because he wanted money from me since his dad cut off his allowance. I was furious and in that moment I did something that I didn't regret I took my pocket knife I always held in my clutch and stabbed him in the throat with hard. The feeling if his gushing blood was so satisfying and to make it even better since we were behind the school no one even noticed me kill him. When I reached home my mother yelled in fear seeing me covered in blood she called a few friends to hide his body and any evidence he ever existed even his parents. It felt so easy to kill him and the feeling of having the one you love die by your hands was exhilarating and I wanted more. I started dating again in high school and I did the same think over and over again. I stalked them found out what they liked what they didn't like and became the perfect girl for them. Each and every heartbreaking death was soul gratifying and you Joe, my love, my dear. I've waited for you for so long...
By the time I snapped out of my daze I was being carried away to a car and suddenly speeding away.
YOU ARE READING
Dedicated ( Joe Goldberg x reader)
FanfictionI wanted him... more than anything in this world