Above the Water

4. Ain't No Sunshine just Rain

I had alot on my plate and I didn't know how to handle it, work was hard, I couldn't drink until I knew for sure I was going to get rid of the baby. Finally it was the day of my appointment and I was 2months, my heart dropped on the floor, according to that news it wasn't TJay's baby, it was Mr. Garri baby, the dead rapist baby. How? Why? Did I truly deserve this? Maybe I don't have to break the news to Jade, the last thing I want to do is hurt her, TJay was the last thing on my mind, like I say he's just my cake daddy, nothing more. That Saturday was the funeral and I had to pay my respect and tell him to Rest in Piss, I dressed in all black and threw some shades on after all I am mourning right? I arrived and sat quietly in the back, by the looks of it he won't be missed because it was a handful of people there. As I was leaving I saw a familiar face, a tall, thin white girl, she was getting into the car with the family, it was the bitch I saw at Kevin's house about 2months ago. What are the fucking odds? Is that Garri sister? My heart was in full panic mode, I had no intentions on going to the cemetery but I was on a mission, as everyone got ready to leave I approached the lady and told her that I was sorry for her loss and she smiled and said thank you but every loss isn't a loss! I bucked my eyes and she said between me and you the bastard is more valuable dead than alive, she said he was her soon to be ex husband and that he should've died a day later so the divorce could be finalize. I walked away and drove until my gas light started going off. I was in a daze, I don't know how I was driving... the father of my child is dead, his wife was sleeping with my boyfriend which caused us to break up. This sounded more like a Lifetime movie than my real life.... I needed to ease my mind so I told Cash to come over and keep my company, I had to tell her I was pregnant and the first thing she said was "Bitch you secured the bag getting Pregnant by TJay" I couldn't tell her the truth just yet, she wanted have sex with even after I told her about the pregnancy, I just let it happen, this time I told her to let me run the show, I never ate pussy but I was about to try, to my surprise it came easy, I just did what I thought I would like if someone was doing me, I grabbed my dildo out of my dresser and started fucking her with it, she was calling my name and creaming all over it. She asked me if I was sure that was my first time, I laughed so hard and she was definitely stroking me ego. I finally broke the news to Tjay that I was pregnant but it wasn't his, he said he should've known a girl like me just wanted his money and that I had good game. I was starting to believe that I was just a lost soul out in the world. Not growing up with a mom had an effect on me but I didn't start to notice til I got the news that I was pregnant. My mom had died right after I was born of a drug overdose so I had no memory of her, I was resentful because I should have been her reason to stay off drugs but I wasn't maybe I wasn't destined to be great, maybe I will be like my mother even though my dad gave me the best life possible. My dad told that my mom's family blamed my dad for her demise, he was black, she was white and they weren't to thrilled about her having a child by a "darkie" as they called it. I finally told my dad, family, and close friends about the pregnancy and I told them that it was a old friend of mine child and we weren't together of course they were supportive. One weekend my dad and I went shopping for the baby when we ran into the white woman that was at Kevin's house and the funeral, Mr. Garri wife. Her and my dad gave each other this cold, eerie look... I said dad you know her? But he didn't respond nor blink, I just stood there waiting on someone to say something. She said "Well Well John I see that you have a fine young wife" I said oh no ma'am I'm his daughter, tears filled her eyes and she ran out the door. I said dad how do u know her? Is she an ex? He didn't speak til we got home, obviously it was an ex and an old womb had opened. He told me that I needed to sit down and he started apologizing to me, he said I'm sorry Whitley, I only wanted to protect you, I didn't want you to grow up like that, that was your mother....!!!