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hi guys, not going to lie to you but i completely forgot about this book...oops.
you can also imagine what you look like. —
I couldn't sleep.
It was late, almost around three am and my mind was running like a cd on a loop. Some nights I didn't sleep, some nights I did but there was no luck for right now. The only reason my mind kept me up was the thought of school.
Which happened to start today.
Well, isn't that just fucking grand?
School was my eternal suffering. It was the place I hated the most, the place that always had to leave a nasty taste in my mouth. School was were the cool kids were, were the nerds co-existed, and the where the people in between couldn't care any less about anyone.
I wish I could say I fit in the category of 'in between'.
But I don't. I don't really fit anywhere.
We can also thank my social skills for that...well, because I have none.
I was always the loner girl. The girl people would humiliate during preschool and all throughout kindergarten. The girl who didn't know how to co-exist, the girl without a backbone.
It's embarrassing really.
But what can I say?
Nothing. I can't say anything.
To say I had something to actually look forward to during school would be a flat out lie, like saying men can have babies. They can't, therefore, I can't lie.
There are times in life I wish I did have social skills...friends too. My mother would always complain that there is something wrong with me because when she was my age, she had all the boys and friends in the world.
They worshipped her.
She always asked the question of 'how could you be my daughter?!'
My mother happened to also be a horrible person. She drank too much, smoked till she couldn't breathe, and blabbered about herself like the whole world revolves around her.
Nothing in my universe could possibly matter if she was involved, she always made that crystal clear. Sometimes she couldn't even stomach to look at me, she'd say I look like a gremlin and remind me of how much she disliked me everyday.
