forget about me // daisuga ♡ [completed]

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--» 6/13
[ 7.23 pm ]
[ Point of view: Sugawara Kōshi ]

We'd been waiting for two hours now. Asahi, Daichi's mum and me sat in the waiting room and waited for a doctor to inform us about Daichi. Suddenly, I remembered the letter Daichi wanted me to take with me.
» I have to use the bathroom. «, I said and left. When I arrived there, I locked one of the cabins and got out the letter and started reading it.

Before I start, I want you, whoever finds this first, to tell Asahi that I'm sorry. He checked on me for three months and I always yelled at him, but he never stopped. He's been more of a friend to me than anyone recently and I never thanked him for that. Even though I wasn't always honest, I knew I could tell him if I had a problem and he'd support me. So tell Asahi he's a good hearted person and he should be more confident about himself. He is such a good person and there's nothing he should be insecure about. I'm sorry for not being able to tell him in person.

Then, I want my mum to know I love her. I knew she had to worry about me a lot and I never talked to her. I was acting like some ass teenage girl so please tell her it wasn't my intention to be this way. Tell her I want her to move on and tell her I'm thankful for the life she gave me. I spent at least 19 wonderful years in this world and I would have missed this great time if she wouldn't have given birth to me. I'm thankful for everything she's done for me and I'm sorry she had a son who took his life, even though she raised me to live. Sorry, I love you mom.

Tell my sister to stay strong. I know what she's been through and I want her to know things can get worse, so she should be thankful for what she has. I know that she's just a teen and might not see it, but life will go on, she hasn't even started to live. I love her, even though we fought a lot. I'll always protect her, even though I'm not around. My ghost will be so I'll see what she does. Tell her to not get into trouble that much. I'm sorry, I love you, little sis.

Tell my dog I will miss him too. He was always there for me until he died, one month after Suga. It might sound stupid, but he was my best friend and I didn't even take him out for a walk because I felt this way. I'm sorry.

Tell everyone of the team I am happy they all joined the team. I had a great time with them as the captain and I loved practising and playing with them all. I would love to play with all of them again, maybe someday, upon the clouds. This will be a long list of names now, but:
Suga, Asahi, Noya, Tanaka, Ennoshita, Narita, Kinoshita, Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, I am sorry. All of you were amazing players. And tell Ukai he was an amazing coach, and Takeda too. I loved his motivating words. I hope someone will motivate him for the things he loves the way he motivated us. Thank you.
And last, Kiyoko and Yachi. You both were the best team managers you could have had. Thank you for supporting us. You did an amazing job.

Now, it's time for the hardest one, even though you'll probably never read this. Suga, this one's for you.
Where do I start? I know I already excused, but I can't do it often enough. I'm truly sorry. For everything. I never met someone as amazing as you. You are pretty and truly beautiful. I loved how supporting you were and you always knew what's the right thing to say. You are kind of angelic. You were so smart and I regret I never told you. I bet even someone like you needed those words. Please never forget I love you. I know, I will go straight to hell after I ended it all, but I have faith you can understand my words somehow, even if I have to scream them. I remember you were nervous because life is going on so fastly. You said this the morning before... you know what happened. I agree, Suga. Life is getting all of us busted if we don't watch out. And that's what happened to us too, I guess. Life is reckless. It took you away from me way too early. And it was my fault, too. So I don't deserve to be alive either. That's why I will do the only thing that you could call "justice". I'm sorry, Suga. I love you.