Sexual Attraction

Chapter 8

My eyes fluttered open and a bright white light was shining. I couldn't help but to squint my eyes because of the light in my eyes, making it hard for me to see. I had no idea where I was or even how I got here. All I wanted to do was get up and leave.

I attempted to lift myself up, but my body would not move at all. Using all the strength built up in me, I tried again. I still didn't move. I could see a white man with a doctors coat on, so I assumed him to be doctor. Surrounding the man was what I a summed to be two nurses. I wanted so badly to ask them why I was here but my mouth wouldn't move at all.

"His eyes are opening." One of the nurses said. I heard someone call my name. It was Amirah. She had tears in her eyes and she looked so sad. I just wished that I could hold my baby girl and figure out why she was in tears. Make it all better. "Omar!" Amirah called out.

"Baby! Wake up, please! Omar say something. Are you okay?" Amirah screamed with hot tears rolling down her face. I hated seeing the love of life, so sad.

They escorted Amirah out of the area I was in. One of the nurses started CPR on me. I'm not gone lie, that shit was hurting. If only I could move and talk, I would tell her to chill this shit out she hurting a nigga.

"Let's try the electric shock." The doctor said. My eyes wanted to grow wide, but instead the grew lower by the second. All my strength was no match to what was happening to me. I feel useless. What was happening to me?

"1.. 2.. 3" They used the electric shock on my chest and my upper body slightly lifted. My grew so low. I could no longer see what was around. All I could see was a white light and I wanted to go to the light. Closer and closer I got to the light. Relief was taking over the closer I got to the white light.

"Momma." A little boy said as he pulled the pants leg of a familiar women, trying to get her attention. I walked closer to them and soon recognized who they were, it was me as a boy and my mother. Shock and disbelief filled my body at the sight of them. Where was I? How did they get here?

My mother was my world, but she was sadly taken away from me. My mother was around the age 55 when she passed away. One day she was at home alone, I was suppose to arrive at her house at 8:30pm. I got caught up in my work at the office and  didn't get to her house until almost 9:28pm.

When I arrived at the house, my mother was lying on the kitchen floor passed out. I was so terrified and immediately called the ambulance for help. They arrived within ten minutes and escorted my mother to the hospital. The doctor informed me that she had a heart attack and a mini stroke. Hearing the doctor say that, almost made tears come to my eyes but I couldn't let anybody see me cry. I'm a man, I can't show weakness.

Two hours later, she died of heart failure. The doctor explained to me that the stroke and heart attack that she had put too much stress on her heart. The caused her heart to fail and her death to come so soon. At her funeral, I was a total wreck. My heart and soul ached so bad. Felt as if my life was nothing.

If only I had arrived at her house on time, then she could possibly still be alive today. If only....

I miss my mother daily. The love I have for my mother is the love I want to have for the girl I spend the rest of my life with. And that girl is Amirah, she's the one for me. Every time my life seems to be going good, something always seems to be ten times worse.

"Yes Omar?" My mother responds to the younger me. "Why did you leave me?" The younger me asked as he continuously pulled on my mother's pants leg. My mother ignored him. She continued to hum and pull pedals off of a yellow flower. "Mommy!" He screamed at my mother.

"Why did you leave? Do you not love me anymore? What did I do to make you leave me?! Mommy! Mommy!" He screamed with tears streaming down his face. My mother finally gave him her attention. "You don't need me Omar! You can do everything by yourself! It was my time to go and I had to go, so just let me go!" My mother screamed.

"I love you Omar." My mother bent down and kissed his forehead, before she walked away into the white light. A tear fell down my face and I followed behind her.