Forbidden Love

Chapter 23

9th fucking month and it is hell. I am due to any day now and I rather not leave my bed at all.

"How are you holding up, babygirl?" Jacob came in with a jar of Nutella and package of bread.

"Better now when I'll get my Nutel-" I didn't get to finish my sentence before a sharp pain struck my stomach and a small pool of water appeared under me.

"Jacob... I think my water broke"

"Okay, it's Showtime then" he went and picked up the bag with things to the hospital.

He still effortlessly picked me up and carried me out of the room. My parents aren't home for the moment so Jacob placed me down in the passengers seat and quickly jumped into the drivers seat.

"Could you fucking hurry you SLOTH!" it hurt really bad.

"I'm doing the best I can baby"

He speed away to the hospital and after a very painful delivery I finally got to hold my child in my arms. My child. Our Lisa. Jacob sat beside me on the bed and hugged me around me shoulders.

"I knew she would be pretty" he smiled.

"You look okay I guess and I'm just looking spectacular, so of course she has to be a beauty"

We laughed and our doctor came in.

"We have some unfortunate news" he looked sad, oh no, what is wrong?

"Is something wrong?" Jacob looked afraid and worried out at the same time.

"We checked the x-rays and discovered that Lisa's lungs and heart are very weak and there is a bigger chance of her not surviving that it is for her to survive. She is good enough not to be in need of breathing assisstnace but but not good enough to be fully healty. I'm sorry" I looked down at Lisa, is she going to die? I don't want her to die, she's my baby.

"Is it genetic?" I had tears in the back of my throat.

"What we can see now is it not genetic"

The doctor walked out of the room and left us alone.

"I don't want our baby to die" I was now crying freely as reality hit me.

She can die anytime. She can die in 2 seconds or in a year, we don't know when.

------

Lisa have become better and she is soon passing 5 months. She has her crib beside our bed and I don't know how many different things are scattered around the room, clothes, dishes, toys. It's evening and it's time to go to bed. I tuck Lisa down in her crib and Jacob hugs me from behind.

"This is perfect" he snuggles his face down my neck and placed a kiss there.

"Good night Lisa, we love you"

We both kissed Lisa good night and rocked her from side to side until she fell asleep, after that went I and Jacob to sleep too.

------

I woke up and kissed Jacob's cheek before I went up to check in on Lisa. When I came to the crib was something wrong. I picked her up and felt how her whole body was limp and ice cold. No. This can't be happening.

"Jacob wake up!!" I sunk down on the floor letting out a loud cry.

My baby's gone.

"Baby wha-, no, no, no, please no" he sunk down on the floor beside me and reached for her body.

I don't want to believe this. I crawled inside Jacob's embrace as he held Lisa's small body in his arms. It was already too late to preform CPR, she has been gone a long time.

Mom and dad came rushing into our room but stopped in their tracks when they saw what had happened. Everybody cried.

Jacob and I have been sitting on the floor with Lisa in our arms for at least an hour. We need to let her go but we can't, I mean she's still our baby. We gently placed her back in her crib and called the hospital and told them what had happened, they told us they were sorry for our loss.

--

Her funeral was more painful than giving birth to her. But two thing's for sure...

I never want to see a such small coffin again
And
It will take a while before both Jacob and I will be ready to get another child.