Le Cirque Des Cassés

Chapter Nine: Blind

"Body integrity dysphoria is a disorder characterized by a desire to be disabled or having discomfort with being able-bodied beginning in early adolescence."

Blind was certainly interested in Child. For two reasons mostly, Child produced odd noises around her, and Snake was close to Child. Blind was close to Snake and Doll, they all came within days of each other, so she felt connected to the two. She also must admit that the fact Snake became close to anyone so quickly was a shock, but the shock was increased by the fact it was a child that Snake became close to. 

Snake suffered from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, as well as her belief she was a snake. Snake's OCD usually pertained to orderliness of her things, and the alphabet, and as far as Blind knew, children enjoyed touching everything to figure it out. Doll described Child to Doll, and from what Doll described Child wasn't exactly super neat. 

Blind was in her trailer fixing her wrapping around her eyes. She was able to do it by feel at this point, but it was Target that taught it to her at first.  Blind has short hair, as much as she adored long hair because the way she wraps her eyes will mess up her hair every single time, so the shorter hair was more practical. Blind would hold the start of the silk to the bridge of her nose, and begin wrapping it around her head slowly. Once, twice, three times, only when it was tight enough to not fall did she stop wrapping it around her head. The silk covering was to prevent panic in the others. Sure, they had all seen burns on Flame and Poison, and slices along Dancer and Target, but those were always temporary, everyone knew that they would be okay. 

Blind's defining trait was not temporary at all. From a young age, as young as 10 or 11, Blind wanted to have no eyes, or be unable to see. She would commonly wrap cloth around her eyes, or sometimes even just walk around with her eyes closed. However, the urge to blind herself never disappeared, so at the age of 16 she grabbed the drain cleaner from under her kitchen sink, went to the bathroom and kept pouring it in her eyes. As she did it, it burned so she scratched up her eyes and the area around her eyes a lot too, the drain cleaner did nothing to help the wounds. She was found by her parents and rushed to the hospital, where they were told that she would be permanently blind. Her parents were disgusted at her actions and joy about being blind and abandoned her at the cirque, where she happily accepted her defining trait to be her now permanent blindness. 

However, due to the method she chose to blind herself by, it left terrible scarring around her eyes and turned the once bright blue color in them to a faded grey. The silk was designed so no one would be forced to look at a gruesome sight that may cause panic, euphoria, or unease. Blind had no objection to covering her eyes. 

She heard a knock on her trailer door, three short, quiet, and quick taps. "Come in Doll."

Doll entered the room slowly, "Blind, Ringmaster wants us to join him for a moment."

"The whole cirque?"

"No. Only the veterans, Flame, Switch, and then You, me, and Snake. He even insisted that Snake not bring Child. It seems important," Doll said. 

Blind paused and turned toward Doll, "Go and get the others that are needed then, and make sure it is quick since this clearly must be important. Where should I go?"

"The small tent, the one that only the veterans go in," Doll said before rushing off again, being ever so careful still. Blind carefully tucked her silk in so it would be even less likely to slip and rushed to the small tent. She didn't need to see to get there. In the few years she had been there, she had memorized the cirque, inside and out. She quickly found her way there, and quickly could tell there were five people standing in there. 

She paused and listened to their voices, it was Dancer, Whisper, Ringmaster, Target and Switch. "What's going on?" Blind asked quietly. 

"He hasn't said yet," Whisper said to Blind, "Target and him keep whispering though. I'm sure Blade won't like that." Quickly enough Doll had gotten Lion, Blade, Flame and Snake, and then everyone Ringmaster had requested was in there. Blind could hear Blade walk up to Target and wrap his arms around her. She could tell Lion leaned against a wall with Flame as Snake stood next to Doll still. 

"Thank you for getting everyone Doll," Ringmaster said softly, Blind could feel the air move and could tell Doll nodded, there was no other movement in the room, almost as if everyone was holding their breath in anticipation. Yet no one was holding their breath, none of them gasped in a breath before the silence. "There is something important I need to tell you guys, I had planned to only tell the veterans, but Target suggested I tell you three girls as well as Switch and Flame." 

"It must be important if you feel the need to include us, especially so isolated from the others," Snake said. Blind could hear Dancer walk over to Whisper. 

"It is important, and definitely something I need to tell you now, since you've all already started to notice," Ringmaster said.

"Started to notice what, quit bullshitting and just lay us on it," Lion said. 'Always the one to cut to the chase,' Blind thought. 

Ringmaster sighed, "Simply put. I lied to you all. I lied to everyone in the cirque." Blind could feel Whisper's instant panic, which was calmed by a hand on her shoulder, Dancer already knew. "I can tell you figured it out Dancer, I suspected you would. I'm surprised Target asked questions first."

"Is this about why Target was being weird and asking odd questions earlier today?" Blade asked.

"What questions?" Switch spoke softly. 

"She kept asking about why we couldn't know everyone's names, and why time felt off here, asking when me and her graduated and shit. Also wondering Ringmaster, Lion and Whisper's names," Blade said. Lion and Whisper both shifted some, Blind could hear their clothes rustle.

"Yeah, it is about that. Kind of," Ringmaster said.

"Tell them. Quit delaying it Ringmaster. They've been here for so long without knowing, tell them," Target said. 

Ringmaster sighed, "Guys, it isn't the year you thought it was."

"It's only 1993," Doll said.

"No," Ringmaster said, "It is 2019." A silence fell, and Blind realized something. No one was breathing, no one had been, no one ever had. Except for Child. Those weird noises Child made, it was breathing. Child breathed, no one else did. Now that Blind thought about it, everyone did at first, everyone made odd noises, but slowly those noises disappeared. She never realized what it was. But shortly after being at the cirque, people would stop breathing. 

"No one is breathing," Blind said suddenly, "No one has, only Child. What did you do?" She shouted toward Ringmaster. 

"What do you mean no one is breathing Blind? We all clearly are, we're alive," Snake said. 

"You're all alive, but not breathing," Ringmaster said. 

"What did you do!?" Blind said, venom shooting off her tongue. Had she been killed? Whether she has been killed or not she was lied to! Those she had come to love could have been killed. 

"Blind, trust me please, Ringmaster didn't do a thing. The cirque itself did," Target said.

"The cirque killed us?" Snake asked.

"Not exactly," Target said. 

"The cirque has turned you all into humanoid supernatural beings, all of us are at this point except Child. If you guys would please calm down, and trust I would do nothing to harm you, I can and will explain. I will tell you all how long you have been here, how long you can be here, and well," Ringmaster said, "what you can now do."