Everybody wants him

S i x t e e n

B r a y d o n

The past few weeks spent with Kae have been...unexpected. Although me getting close to her is all part of the plan, the way I am with her is no act. I have this weird feeling when I am around her, it is so foreign to me. We have spent so much time together. The minute I leave her I want to be back with her.

I notice such small things about her, like the way her dimples form when she smiles and the way she throws her head back when shes belly laughing. Everything about her is just so perfect to me. With other girls there's always something that gives me the ick or makes it easy for me to walk away. Its so different with Kaelyn.

Tonight, we're having a movie night at her house while her mum is on a night shift. I get there around 8 pm and we decide on a pizza and a film. I had a slight idea that maybe things would get heated tonight but push the thoughts to the back of my mind and try and focus on the plan. That is the whole point in this.

We have barely watched the film. We talked and laughed and the more we did the more the unfamiliar feeling arose. In this moment, that is when I knew, while she was taking a bite of her pizza after laughing at me, I knew. I had some sort of feelings for her. Just by looking at her in this everyday moment, my heart ached. I have never had this in my entire life. She placed the pizza down and took a sip of her drink. She turned to me.

"what?" she smirked, "do I have something on my face?"

I took her face in my hands and kissed her with so much passion, allowing my emotions to spill out in that kiss, hoping she got my message. The message of my true feelings, my apology that it had to be under these circumstances, that my heart is in this for real and by breaking hers I would be breaking my own.

The kiss deepens and she lays on top of me. Straddling me. She pulls my top up over my head and I openly allow it, not thinking clearly. Soon her top follows and she runs her hands over my toned torso. She kisses me hard and I'm hit with reality. Alex. The plan. As much as I want this right now, I can't go through with it, I can't hurt my best friend like that. "We should stop, I can't let our first time be on the couch surrounded by half-eaten pizza, I want it to be special, meaningful," I say as I push her hair out of her eyes.

Her face falls at my words we should stop but are soon exchanged with complete awe as she listens to what I had to say.

In this moment, looking at her and wanting nothing more than to be inside her. I knew.
I knew I was falling for her.

"Be mine" I blurt out. She gives me a small smile that also had a hint of confusion in it.

"Are you asking what I think you're asking?" she says, her smile growing.

"I think I am" I grin at her. She nods and kissed me hard. "yes?"

"yes" she repeats.

***

The next day I organise to see Alex and update him about last night. He meets me at my house.

"Hey man" I say to him as he enters my house.

"So whats the goss" he impatiently says knowing that's the reason for our meet up.

"I've made it official with her last night" I say and I can't help but feel a kick to the gut when I say it, knowing it's not for the right reasons.

Alex smirks "perfect." He frowns "Why are you not ecstatic right now? This is what we want, she's falling for our plan."

"No I am. I'm more than happy it's all running smoothly" I lie.

"Good, get ready to ruin her the way she ruined me"
"Have you ever spoke to her about it...got an explanation?"
"Why would I need an explanation, it was fucking obvious"

"but don't you think there may be more to it than what you think?"

"what's making you ask all this? do you know something? has something happened?"

"no, no nothing's happened. I just want to make sure we have all the facts before we go and ruin someone" I couldn't bring myself to tell him that everything was real for me. It was too real in fact. And the thought of breaking Kaelyn's heart hurt my own. "there is something we should discuss also, seen as me and her are official now we need to talk about the plan around us sleeping together. We got close to taking things to the bedroom last night, I had to stop it. I didn't know what the plan was so I bullshitted my way out of it, said I need her first time with me to be special but what should we do regarding that?"

His face drops as though he never thought of this.

"No, don't sleep with her" his jaw clenched.

Fuck. He is still in love with her. It isn't just about getting revenge.

"do you still love her?" I ask him. He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

He shakes his head "...No...I don't know. I hate her, but I can't stop fucking thinking about her. About our past, how close we were, how we grew closer and about that night and then how it all fell apart"

"you do still love her don't you, you just have to think things through and see if hurting her is really what you want Alex"

I know for sure it's definitely not what I want. How am I supposed to tell him about my feelings now, knowing he still loves her and I don't know how longer I can go without stripping her naked and adoring every inch of her body. It took everything in me to stop our encounter, I wanted nothing more than to be inside her in that moment.

Fuck.