Everybody wants him

T w o

Growing up I was a bit of a tomboy. Lived in jeans and t-shirts. My mum hated it. She was very pink and girly and loved me in dresses, skirts and tights. It wasn't until I got to the second year of high school that I actually became a normal teenage girl. I got her to change my room and I got a whole new wardrobe as all it consisted of was jeans and t-shirts and that one dress that my mum would put on me if I'd had to go to a posh place or I had to Look 'presentable'. Me and her took a shopping trip, she bought me skirts, dresses, tops, shorts, play suites the lot. She was delighted that I asked her if I could get new clothes.

"You look different" Alex says to me as I emerge from my house. We're going to the park to play football. I have on some new clothes of mine and I've finally made an effort with my hair, while we were shopping mum treated me to getting my hair done, I got a whole new style and loved it.
"Me and my mum went shopping, I got new clothes and I got my hair cut and highlighted"
"Oh cool, let's go"
That was all I got from Alex on my drastic makeover. No 'looks good' or 'it suits you' and that's because I was seen as one of the guys, which I really didn't mind at all. I loved being with them and being included.

***
So, the question I had on the way here has now being answered. Yes, Alex still lives in the house across the street. I'm washing my plate and staring at the house when my mother interrupts my thoughts.
"Yes, he is still there dear, but I will say he's not the boy you left behind"
"Why what's changed about him?" aside from the fact he's got even hotter than when I left two years ago if that is even possible.
"Well charlotte tells me he's so closed off and brings different girls home all the time. He is just out of control, always out drinking every weekend too. Charlotte has no idea how to deal with him because she feels that it's her fault, he is the way he is, she and john spilt up so she feels that's what has done it"

I feel the stab in my heart, the stab of guilt because it was me. I am the reason is the way he is.
"Well, whatever it's not like we'll become best buddies is it"
"Suppose not. Anyway, I really like what you've done with your hair"
"Thanks, Dads girlfriend Meriden took me to the salon with her and they finally got it the colour I wanted" It took three trips to the salon to change my dark blonde hair into the silver tone that it is now.
"Oh well it's lovely, really suites you" she seemed jealous that me and Meriden went on a shopping spree as that was our thing before I went away. "Thanks"

I have kept in contact with all of my girls that I was close with before we all parted to go uni. Weve had a few meet ups on the occasional weekend but they have always come home for the summer where as I never have. this is my first-time home for the complete summer which means we will be able to spend a lot of time together. The only problem being is whether they're all still close to Alex as we were all one big group in college.

"Okay whatever. I'm going out for a walk; I won't be long"
I can't be dealing with all this and the stress that comes with being back at home. The thoughts and the feelings are escaping out of the box I locked them in as soon as I got to university. I walk out of my house and take a left, I'm hungry so I decide to go to the shop. I grab a packet of crisps, a drink and a chocolate bar and pay for them at the till. I walk to the nearest park and find a bench. I sit there and eat my crisps, staring my childhood memories in the face. This was our go to place, a big field with goal posts for us to play football, a really big climbing set and two different size parks, one for little children and a bigger one for the older kids. I can remember the day I was allowed on the bigger park; it was such a reward. I smile remembering the thoughts wondering what it would be like if I hadn't of done what I did.

I make my way home walking slow to savour the calmness. The tranquillity of the spring sunset erasing all the stress I'm carrying. I decide to speak to my mum about maybe redoing my room. I am home for the next 4 months and only have one more year left until I'm fully finished with my degree so I will be home full time.

Once I get home I sit down and have a chat and she agree with me suggesting we go shopping tomorrow to look at paint and wallpaper that is more suitable. I agree, hoping that it will bring us closer like we used to be.