Caged |1|

Chapter 43 Not so Merry Christmas

KEHLANI

I sat on the couch that was in my hotel room eating a tube of Pringles watching Good Will Hunting with Kong. I had to get ready and go to Kyle's for Christmas soon but I really didn't have the energy to go. I had my phone shut off all night and day so he couldn't call, text me, or track my location and just show up. I didn't sleep at all last night I was just up crying and overthinking but I had come to a decision. I was going to move out of Kyle's house, I needed my own space especially when I didn't know what was going to happen between me and him. When I needed to clear my head and think, I didn't want to run to a hotel or be locked into a tiny guest bedroom. I wanted my own space, I wanted my independence. If this fight has shown me anything it was that I was becoming dependent on Kyle, and that's never what I wanted so I have to show myself I can stand on my two feet before I stand on anyone else's.

As for mine and Kyle's relationship, it was up in the air. I didn't know if I wanted to be with him after this. I didn't want the be that pathetic girl at home that waits up for him all night long while he's off cheating on me. I wouldn't allow myself to be treated like that but I hadn't given him a fair and calm opportunity to really explain anything to me. I just knew what I knew and I wasn't ready to hear his side but I am now and I'm hoping he's still willing to explain to me and see if we can work it out. I just won't be the girl at home while he plays with his options. Aria being the realtor and interior designer she is, is coming here after Christmas and New Years to help me look for a place and get it set up.

After sitting in front of the TV for a half hour too long I decided to finally get up and get dressed. I wasn't doing a lot or dressing up. I didn't sleep last night, I have no energy, I feel like a hot knife is in my heart and just twisting, then I have to go look at the man that put that knife there so no I wasn't going all out. I grabbed a simple plain white hoodie, a pair of old faded high waist skinny jeans and underclothes. I went and got in the shower trying to find the the motivation to make my appearance at the Kuzma's and have a talk I didn't know if I really wanted to have. After spending too much time in the shower I got out drying myself off. I didn't bother to blow dry my hair I just towel dried it enough for it to stop it from dripping. I put it in a messy french braid leaving strands out to frame my face. I did my usual makeup hiding my lack of sleep and night of sobs the best I could. I changed into my outfit throwing on high top white converse, it wasn't my best outfit but it was the outfit for the day.

I grabbed my phone, purse, and room key walking out. I walked out of the hotel and to my orange Lamborghini. I got in starting the car pulling out driving back to the house that I've only known as home here in California. I was sad to move out and it wouldn't hit me until I was packing all of my things but I think this step back could be good for us. Maybe we rushed being together all of the time and it caused a drift I didn't notice until now. The LA traffic wasn't as bad as it usually was and I ended up at Kyle's much too soon for my liking. I parked my car getting out grabbing my purse walking inside. Right away the smell of food caught my attention. I followed the smell to the kitchen to see the Kuzma family cooking and laughing together making me smile. Kyle turned seeing me and smiled widely coming over to me with his arms opened. I gladly went into them hugging him and he relaxed in my arms.

"I missed you" He whispered kissing the top of my head. I grabbed his shirt trying to stop the tears threatening to spill from my eyes, I just got here. I'm not going to cry yet, not before dinner and presents.

"I missed you too but I needed the time" I whispered, he tried to pull away but I only pulled him into me more inhaling that perfect scent known as Kyle. I was terrified if he moved I'd break down into tears. He only tightened his arms around me burying his face in my neck.

"Let's go upstairs just to talk" He whispered but I shook my head no.

"Not yet. Let's do dinner, presents, family stuff and then we can talk or have a blow up fight and hate each other. I just want one Christmas with you before that happens" I whispered getting more nervous for the talk I knew we had to have to move on from this problem.