Bloodline Stealer {Naruto X Male Self Insert}

Bingo Book

A/n: a mini time skip and what happened in that time

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After the rather... thrilling experience after the invasion by the Sand and Orochimaru the Leaf village were at their worse state since the Nine tails attack

Numerous amounts of Shinobi had to be deployed to place a false front of power to make sure no other nation attacks

The rebuilding took every civilian's help to achieve but was of course still in progress, it's only been a couple of days

And Naruko was all locked up in her room, he of course visited for his dear friend and comforted her in the death of the bag of bones that was called Hiruzen

He enjoyed his death immensely, he made sure the Anbu's got a clear look on who killed the Hokage

It was of course Shisui Uchiha, but to them, it was merely the masked man known as Cloak, a funny name that amused him for some time

He was now in the Bingo Books as a S Rank criminal, the entire reason he had Shisui partake in the death of Hiruzen

The ranking

He wanted Shisui to intercept the folds of the Akatsuki, he wanted to know their every move, he had decided against himself joining for reasons that quickly became apparent

One, he would waste his time following orders of some sad sack of shit who decided his swirly eyes made him the chosen one like some Harry Potter knock off

Two, he had some serious blood gathering to do and training, like the further evolution of his Kekkei Genkai

The room can only contain so much chakra usage for long durations of time

Three, the most important reason, he needed battle experience, desperately

The only factor other than age that separate him and those sad fucks known as legends was battle experience

They had more experience, so they knew what to expect from an average Shinobi, while he may have the element of surprise for those few seconds, they will quickly adapt

They're known as legends for a reason after all, and they simply have more than flashy Jutsus, they have skill and talent

So he was simply planning everything in great detail in his handbook, making sure to write ever single possibility

And he has over ninety percent chance of succeeding... worst case scenario, the five Kages' magically appear

Best case scenario, he gets Kimimaro's Genkai Genkai and gets away Scott-Free along with Shisui successfully joining the Akatsuki

And while he made the plans, he heard from Naruko that she was going to be traveling with Jiraiya to pick up the character he despised the most

Tsunade Senju

Other than the impossibly humongous breasts that weren't fake somehow, there were no other qualities he liked, character wise

In skill and medic knowledge, she was supreme and respected her abilities, but that was as far as that went

As a character she made Shinku sick to his stomach, she was some drunk lazing around while dragging her apprentice with her

She was the perfect model of what Shinobi's shouldn't be, and what was she that they should never be?

Weak

She was weak, pathetic, a disgrace to humanity if that was even possible

She had the utter balls to throw away her Shinobi life because of one death

Boo-fucking-hoo

She wasn't the first to lose a loved one, and she won't be the last

She trained her whole entire life to not break, to never show emotions during death, of either enemies or loved ones

That was war

She was in war and she stopped, decided that her life was the saddest there ever was and became some drunk whore

Kakashi was an example of breaking but not showing, his father committed suicide, his one and only male friend died and gave his eye to him, and his other friend died by his own arms and to make it all better she confessed she loved him

And he hasn't broken, he hadn't crawled up in a corner in fetal position and bawled his eyes out, no matter how much he wanted to

He placed a mask of emotion on and moved forward, throwing himself into work other than being some useless junkie

That was the reason why Shinku respected him as a fellow Shinobi

But Tsunade?

He rather bow down to a cockroach than a piece of filth like her

He himself might've broke as well, but at least he pulled himself together and moved forward, while doing it he made himself better and stronger

But she was the exact apposite, and for being so pathetically useless in his eyes, he would either kill her someday, or have her around for his fun

Fun as in watching her break

To see her beloved village before her crumble to the ground, the village her grandfather she oh so loved burn to the ground

So when she arrived and issued a mission, he easily and quickly pulled the 'I'm depressed and broken' card

So with her arrival, the chess pieces were being moved, but only he was playing the easy game that was the Naruto world

There was no contender, and there never will be, he will dominate and accomplish his drea- no, the reality soon to be