Run

Part Two

Part Two: Just You

"Things weren't perfect for long. After a few weeks of having Brayden, Marie began to get sick and tired of it all. We started fighting. Bad. A few times, the neighbors had knocked on our door and asked if we were okay. That was embarrassing to me, but Marie didn't care. She'd scream at the top of her lungs, she'd get so damn angry.

"And I get it. She was with the baby all day while I was out doing construction or gambling. But the second I'd be home, she'd immediately hand Brayden to me and she wouldn't help out the rest of the night. Then she'd get mad when I was able to calm Brayden down. It made me happy that I could somehow stop him from crying when he'd been doing so for hours with her, but I think she got jealous. I'd try to reason with her, but she wouldn't have it. She'd just say that maybe Brayden would be better off without her, that we'd both be better off without her."

"Was Marie depressed?"

"Of course she was. Only I didn't know it then. And it wasn't just with Brayden. When we couldn't afford Manhattan anymore and moved to Brooklyn, I eventually told her that I was gambling. But even with her knowing the truth, she'd say I was out cheating, paying girls to be with them. I thought she'd lost her fuckin' mind. That's when she started leaving every few nights. I'd watch Brayden for days sometimes without her comin' back."

"How did Brayden eat?"

"Formula. And sometimes that got hard, because with her being gone, I couldn't work as often so then-"

"So... because Marie was gone so often, Brayden began formula as an infant?"

"Not... exactly... Marie started drinking again before all this. She started when she was still breastfeeding Brayden. So then I had to start getting formula. That pissed me off so bad. Because not only was she causing problems between us, but she was hurting our kid in the process. I've never forgiven her for that bullshit.

"I don't know if Marie just didn't want to be a mom or if she hated me that much. But we started fighting every second we were together. I worked, and she stayed with Brayden. Then I came home, and she left. I knew it was unhealthy for our son, but there was nothing I could do about it. I... I know she hated me, but she did stupid shit that put Brayden in danger. She... God dammit!"

"Bryson, calm down."

"Don't tell me to fucking-... I'm sorry, I-... You just... You don't get it... You don't get it... Marie... Marie and I got into a really bad fight once. So bad. It wasn't the worst one, but it was one of them. She said to me, 'You act like we're meant to be, Bryson. Like we were s'posed to be together. Like we're fucking soulmates or some other bull shit. You think Brayden's some type of miracle. Well you know what? He's not. I just had to get the fuck out of Massachusetts.'"

"'What're you talking about, Marie?' I said. Then she told me... She said, 'I got pregnant on purpose. I was never on the pill. I wanted to get pregnant. I told you it didn't work, and you were stupid enough to believe it.'"

"Is... Is that true?"

"Does it matter?.. I thought about calling her parents that night. I thought about going home. But I didn't. I should've, but I didn't. I loved her. I loved Marie. For some reason, I still thought I could make still it work. But it was over before it ever even started."