Yoongi's Little Sister

Lost

We finally arrived home after what seemed like a 24 hour, silent car journey, I slid off my shoes and headed straight upstairs to my room, changed into my pj's even though it's like 5pm and jumped on my bed expressionless. I kept thinking about today, could I have done more for her to like me? Does she even like me? I wonder what she will tell her family after... I certainly don't meet Korean beauty standards and I know Koreans are ALL about how they look, that may sound mean but it's true! Back home in the UK, all you would hear is about suicidal rates and how they correlate with beauty standards and don't even get me started on the kpop industry and anorexia. I guess you could say I get triggered sometimes. Am I chubby? I've certainly never considered myself 'fat', but when you're in Korea, everything changes. In fact, I hadn't even thought about the way I look until now really. I glanced towards my floor to ceiling windows which led onto my stunning balcony, it was a crispy autumn afternoon, the sun was about to set which painted the sky in a rainbow of colours, it was too cold to stay out long though, especially since it was going to be night time soon, but I hadn't been on the balcony for a while, so I grabbed my big wooly blanket and wrapped myself around it like a sandwich wrap. I made sure my bedroom door was closed before heading out onto the balcony, normally my door is always open but sometimes I wanted peace and quiet. I sat on the balcony watching the sky get darker and the city lights twinkling in the starry night. Times like these I missed my family, the warmth of my mum's hug, my dad's laugh and his loud sneezes that could wake animals out of hibernation. I missed both my sister's voices, their words of wisdom when I needed their help and their goofy jokes. I missed my dad's salads and my mum's cooking, I missed having sleepovers with my sister's in their rooms. I missed my friends. I missed who I was. I changed when I came here, I'm more quiet, I can't really be myself, well I can, but, the language barrier makes it hard although it's getting better, but there's just different stuff, like my hyungs, well I guess I should call them Oppas now, they find certain stuff hilarious whereas I or typically someone in the UK wouldn't find funny, of course, this is where culture comes into play. I really don't think they know how hard it is for me, and I would never tell them, they have too much to be dealing with anyway, I'll just be an added burden. Besides, they think I'm fine, so it doesn't matter. I wanted to call my mum but the time zones are difficult. Sitting here reminded me of that time me and Jungkook hung out on the balcony until the next morning. Sometimes I feel nonexistent these days. Am I really here?? It's like they don't notice me, maybe it's my fault, I self isolate too much and end up feeling sorry for myself. 

BTS POV

"So? How did it go?" Taehyung excitedly asked Yoongi and Joon. Yoongi took his time answering as he was grabbing a snack from the fridge, "Well, I mean I think it went great, Y/N did everything she was supposed to, right Namjoon?" Yoongi turned to Namjoon who was sat on the sofa in the living room, the kitchen was an open kitchen which extended to the living room. His legs were spread, he seemed stressed. He didn't want to kill Yoongi's enthusiasm but after living with each other for so long, he thought it'd be stupid to lie, it's better to just get things out right in the open. "Hyung," Namjoon sighed. The rest of the boys were either eating at the dinner table or sat on the sofas by namjoon, so they could hear the conversation, "Wae?" Yoongi was unsure of what Namjoon was going to say as he thought everything went smooth. "I don't think Y/N is happy here..." Namjoon got up, walking towards Yoongi who seemed baffled at what his younger brother had just said. "Umm why do you think that?" Jimin popped up from behind the sofa, his body twisted so his head and chest is facing his older brothers but bottom half sat on the sofa, (idk if this made sense lol) "I mean really, have we ever had a chance to sit down and ask her if she's happy? Do you know hard it must be for her? We all had to leave our families to join Bighit but they're still in Korea, Y/N is in a completely different country." Joon preached emotionally. There was brief silence which was raw and heavy, in that moment, only then, did the members realise. "Should we talk to her?" Hoseok chimed in, not wanting Yoongi's little sister, whom he also viewed as his younger sister, to be upset, as he knows too well what it's like to put on a facade and act like you're happy when you really aren't. "Shouldn't I be the one to talk to her? I am her older brother." Yoongi felt an obligation to talk to her as he was blood related to her. "Hyung, I think if Joon hyung spoke with her, it would be best, because his english is good so he could maybe talk to her in ways we can't?" Jungkook spoke softly, he turned to look at Joon. "Yeah, I guess you're right, should we wait until tomorrow or now, she's had a pretty tiring day" Yoongi ran his fingers through his dark, silky hair. "I guess we could tonight, if she isn't having a nap." Namjoon patted Yoongi's shoulder. Namjoon slipped his hand off of Yoongi's shoulder and started to walk towards the stairs to Y/N's room when Jungkook called out his name, "Hyung!" he ran after him, "Hm?" Joon stopped and turned to Jungkook whose long, messy dark hair covered his doe eyes in the dim lit room, "I think you should listen to this before talking to her, here" He handed his Hyung a recording and placed it into Namjoon's palm. Namjoon looked puzzled as he stared at Jungkook's phone trying to figure out what it was and how it related to Y/N. "Kook what's this?" he asked confused, he leaned against the banister of the stairs waiting for a reply. "Me and Y/N, one night we talked on her balcony, for ages, and I couldn't understand it all because obviously I'm not fluent in english, so I recorded it, and I haven't been able to translate it properly, but maybe you can? It might help to listen before you talk to her, it could give you a better understanding," he had his hands in his pockets, whipped his hair out of his eyes from a swift head flick. "Thank you, Jungkook." Namjoon smiled, his smile was angelic, his eyes smiled with his lips, it was a reassuring smile, a smile you can't forget. He proceeded to go upstairs but this time, to his room, to listen to the recording and take notes of it, but he noticed that Jungkook was still stood in the same place, he tends to zone out a lot, he's a deep thinker. "You wanna come?" Namjoon chuckled, he knew Jungkook would want to be there when Namjoon was listening, maybe to see what his reaction would be. Jungkook lifted his head and chuckled, "Nae, I'm coming" happy Namjoon could read his thoughts, he trailed behind his Hyung.