Yoongi's Little Sister

Forever

Y/N POV

"Yoongi!" I was happy to see him after isolating myself in my room and he, in his studio. He walked over smiling, his eyes wrinkling, he looks really tired though, I wish he would give himself a break sometimes. "Hey kid, what are you up to?" he peeked at my laptop trying to see what I was reading. "Oh, uhmm nothing? haha" Wow could I be more awkward and obvious. I quickly close my laptop as if I was watching something inappropriate, when I was actually reading fanfic. He gave me a weird look, as anyone should to be honest, he raised his brow at me and smirked, I hope he's not thinking what I think he might be thinking, "So, um, what brings you to my room?" I try and quickly divert the conversation elsewhere, hoping he'd quickly forget about what just happened. "What? I can't come to my sister's room just to chill?" He laughed, sitting on my bed hugging a pillow. "Well no, that's not what I meant, it's just, I know how busy you are, I just know you don't have time for me, that's all" I didn't even think about what I just confessed and how it came out but Yoongi was quick to respond. "Is that how you really feel Y/N?" he gently put the pillow away and sat upright facing me, legs crossed. I try and avoid eye contact, wow I'm an actual mess today, why can't I think before I speak? I look down, ashamed of what I had just said, I knew Yoongi was working hard, I didn't mean for it to sound so selfish, my hair was now covering my face but this worked to my advantage as I didn't want eye contact. "Y/N?" his was voice soft, he lifted my head up, his fingers tilting my chin up so I was looking directly at him, his long, pale fingers caressed my hair as he placed my wavy locks behind my ear. "It's okay Y/N, I'm your brother, I need to know how you feel. Please?" he begged. His eyes seemed full of pain, as if he felt like he had failed at being a brother and this hurt me and I hated myself for it, but it is how I feel sometimes. My conscience was having a battle as I tried to figure out what to say to him. "No" I blurted out. 'Wow really Y/N? That's all you can say?' I thought to myself, disappointed. "No? What do you mean Y/N?" Yoongi asked obviously confused. "No, that's not what I think, I didn't mean it like that. I don't know... I just shouldn't have said that, sorry." Yoongi took my hands, they looked tiny in comparison to his. "Listen, I want to know if you're happy here okay? I need to know you're okay, I need to know if there's anything I can do. Y/N, please talk to me." He pleaded, his thumb rubbing circles on my hand, it soothed me, which definitely helps because he deserves to know how I feel. "Okay," I sighed, ready to pour my heart out to him. "I feel-" I paused, wondering if I should carry on, worried that what I'm about to say will hurt him, but Yoongi was one step ahead of me and did a slight nod of the head to approve so I could carry on. "I feel that I'm not important to you, I feel invisible sometimes. I feel like a problem. Like an added burden. I feel that sometimes you, or the other members want me gone... And I really don't blame them, or blame you! I wouldn't want someone else coming into my life, not being able to communicate properly. I don't blame you, you have far more important things in your life, you have the boys, who are your everything, you have your music, which you've built an empire on from nothing. You came from nothing and now you have everything because you worked so hard for it. And you continue to work hard, you work non stop, so of course you don't have time for a pesky little sister. It's not your fault. But to answer your question truthfully Yoongi, no, I'm not happy. I'm not happy for feeling like a burden, for missing my family and friends, for not wanting to live here, for not being able to laugh as hard as I used to. I'm not happy. I'm not happy because I think your fans will also hate me, I think Korean people in general will hate me, I don't meet beauty standards and I'm probably fat to you. You're probably ashamed and embarrassed for having me as a sister. But aside from all of this, there are times when I do feel happy, like when I'm on the balcony. I really enjoy passing time out there. I like nighttime. I'm sorry, for being me, and that I can't be more for you, and I'm sorry for coming into your life like a bombshell." I let out a huge sigh of relief for getting all that off my chest. The tears in my eyes had already made their way down my cheeks but I quickly wiped them, not wanting to seem sensitive. Yoongi looked at me wide-eyed. His lips were slightly apart but his hands never left mine, only until a few seconds ago when I wiped my tears away. "Y/N, I failed you. I've failed you as a big brother and I'm truly sorry." I stopped him before he could go on, I quickly rushed to his side, hugging his shoulder and neck. "No, stop. I didn't want this, it's not your fault." I hushed him. I was hugging him tight so he couldn't move his arms or body, but I just wanted to feel his warmth next to mine. "If you think anything and everything else is more important than you, my little sister, then I have failed you. I'm sorry I came across that way. But you're my family and you mean everything to me. You are not a burden Y/N" he pushed me off of him gently so he could my face again, he brushed my hair out of my face which was stuck to my tear stained cheeks. "Y/n, I need you to know you are not a burden, okay?" he gripped my shoulders. His eyes were glossy, I could tell he was fighting back the tears. "It's true, I love music, it's something I'm extremely passionate about, but you are more than just music. Me and the boys, all we've ever known is to work hard at music, we barely have time for our own families, so we became each others family. I'm not used to dividing my time up but I'm going to learn. You need me just as much as I need you. I understand you must miss your old life, and I'm gonna try and do everything in my power to help you through this, we could go visit them, or fly them out here for a few days? I'm really sorry Y/N. I promise I will do better, and I really should've said this a while ago, but I was scared at how you would react, but I love you.  I love your cute button nose, I love your smile and your half a dimple on your right cheek. I love how you find beauty in the small things in life, like nighttime. I love you for who you are, and I am beyond proud that out of all the sisters I could have had, I got you." He spoke so passionately, his emotions could be seen in his eyes, his eyes said it all. I started weeping, how do you react after hearing something so precious like that. "I love you too Yoongi and out of the 7 billion people on this Earth, boy am I proud to call you my brother." I smiled but it soon broke into tears again. He let out a quivering chuckle, as he tried his best to hold in the tears. He pulled me into his chest, hugging me tight as we were living a moment of magic. Just the two of us, sibling love. Something that had left a void in our hearts for a while. 

Siblings-the definition that comprises love, strife, competition and forever friends.