Yoongi's Little Sister

Hurt

I blinked. A few times. Um is he in his right mind? 

"Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi" I got up from the sofa, tracing my steps back and forth thinking of all the worst scenarios that could happen. "Wae?" Yoongi also stood up, he looked surprised at my reaction. "This is a good thing Y/N, we no longer have to hide you, and you'll be free to roam the city, we wouldn't have to be so secretive about your existence. We could travel and I could take you to places, like Jeju Island! I know Jungkook would love to go with us there, together! We already spoke about it! He's on board with the idea!" Yoongi exclaimed enthusiastically, taking steps closer and closer to me, trying to convince me this is okay. "Wait, so you've already spoken to the other members about this?" I tilt my head to the left, in his direction and stop pacing back and forth. Eyebrows furrowed, I just couldn't understand why they'd think this is a good idea. I mean, when fans were speculating a girl was with Yoongi, one broke in! "Yeah!" Jimin chimed in like a playful puppy in the kitchen. "But, don't you remember what happened? That fan broke in, she tried to get me? Don't you think this will be worse for me, for my safety?" My voice was raising a bit, I was just confused, I, myself, couldn't make out if this was good or not. I guess my voice was louder than I thought it was, because the other members started to make their way into the open kitchen and living room. "What's going on here?" Namjoon walked in with a bottle of water in his hand. He seemed to be awake for a while because his eyes weren't too puffy as they normally are when he wakes up, and his blonde straight hair was damp, so I know he had a shower. The others followed soon after, Jungkook trailed after Namjoon, wearing all black. Black  jogger bottoms, a washed out, oversized black sweatshirt, black slides, and his messy black hair all over the place. Black is basically his aesthetic. The members could read our faces, the atmosphere was tense, they obviously knew something was up. Jin being Jin, trying to deescalate the situation, "Hey, the coffee is ready, who wants one?" He is basically ignored though as no one really answers, so he lets out a huff instead. All eyes are on me and Yoongi, just stood in the middle of the living room. I run my fingers through my hair, and I was heating up a bit. I could tell my cheeks were flushed as my blood rushed into my cheeks, giving a pink colour. This happens when I get stressed. "Y/N?" Taehyung walks towards us, but not too close, to give us some space.  I finally speak up, giving in to the piercing eyes staring at us. "Yoongi thinks it's a good idea for me to be known to the world." I gesture my hand towards Yoongi, then letting it drop loosely to my side. "I know you all think it's a good idea too because Yoongi said he spoke with you all and you're on board with the idea." I continue, it was visible I was annoyed at this point, the tone in my voice had changed. I think I had subconsciously decided this idea is a bad idea and I was actually worried about my safety, and my families safety back in the UK. "Yeah, but why do you sound upset? Isn't this a good thing?" Hoseok, the sunshine of this house, spoke up. He was sat next to Jimin, eating a type of Korean cereal. His red hair was combed back, revealing his forehead, he wore a green short-sleeved top and grey shorts. His reply added to my frustration, they all seemed to think about the good and not the bad. "Do you guys not understand? What about me? Yes, it'll be great to go out, to not be a prisoner in this house, to actually step foot outside this house without being disguised. But what about my safety, you know what the extreme fans are like, I've even seen stuff on social media where fans track where you guys go and sneak into your hotels and spy on you. If you guys aren't ever fully protected, then how am I going to be protected? A perfect example of this is the 'fan'"- I bend my two fingers to emphasise 'fan', "the 'fan' who broke into the house, smashing the window, going through our stuff and spied on me! What about my family in the UK, you guys are worldwide if you had forgotten! You have fans everywhere, and unfortunately, some extreme fans too. They might figure out where my family and friends live. They could hack into our phones. It isn't safe!" By this point, I had come across a bit rude, yelling my annoyance, not thinking about the consequences. I should respect my elders and talk calmly. But the safety of my loved ones is at risk. I look across the room, the boys hadn't moved really, either sitting or standing, listening to my every word, it kind of seems like they're analysing me. Perhaps they hadn't seen me lose my chill before, and they weren't expecting me to. I look over to Yoongi who is just looking down at the floor. He seems hurt by my reaction. He may have thought I'd be over the moon. There was a long silence. It's times like this a language barrier is very obvious. They must have a lot to say to me in Korean, but not so much in English. I noticed Namjoon walking towards me, he placed his hand on my shoulder, and looked deeply into my eyes, as if he was trying to see into my soul. I looked back at him, his deep brown eyes, I studied his face, he seemed genuinely concerned for me. "Y/N, there are always going to be those type of fans, it's just something we have to deal with. All of us. Including our families. It's the price we have to pay." He spoke softly. I looked down, not wanting to face his calm, eloquent soul. I was also a bit embarrassed about my outburst. "At the end of the day, it is entirely your choice. We just want you to be happy." He continued. "Okay?" He shook my shoulder a bit to grab my attention. I looked back at him, trying very hard not to cry. I'm not sure why I wanted to cry. It was all just too much. But I had that lump in my throat that made it difficult to talk without crying, all I could do was smile weakly and nod at him. I knew I had to get out of there though, because these tears weren't going to hold back much longer. So I quickly made my way out of the large, spacious, bright kitchen and living room area and headed towards the stairs to go back to my room. Of course, this meant I had to walk past the members and even in between some of them, including Jin. I avoided eye contact and left the room in silence. Once I made it to the top of the stairs, I ran to my room and closed the door before any of them could follow me to convince me again, that this is a good idea. 

I slid down the door, finally reaching the bottom, crashing down onto the floor, finally releasing all my emotions. Tears streamed down my face, the same way the rain streamed down the window. Harsh and fast. I kept thinking over and over what the boys were saying, how this would be a good thing for me. I tried to see the positive. I guess I would have to grow accustom to this lifestyle. No one said this would be easy. Maybe, they are right. I don't have a choice, unless I want to live the rest of my life in secrecy. I'd have to suck it up. This would change me in ways I can't even imagine, but a lot of celebrities change when they become famous right? Or, at least when they become well-known. I am determined to not make that happen. I sniffled and wipe the tears from my eyes and cheeks, got up and opened my balcony door. A gush of wind hugged me instantly, I didn't feel cold. Surprisingly, I felt right at home. The first time ever, I felt right at home here. On this gloomy, rainy day, this dull atmosphere, I felt at home.