Let Me Hold You For Now

Tell Me You Love Me

Things really were easier after that, in some ways. Ray was true to her word. She really did call a cease fire on the constant barrage of seduction attempts. Without that distraction something became very clear to him. He was deeply, hopelessly in love with her. It wasn't just attraction or sexual frustration. There was only one problem. She seemed miserable. She was overly cautious with him, never even letting their eyes meet for more than a second. They spent every day together yet he found himself missing her more with each one. How long had it been since she even touched him? This was bullshit.

"Ray." He tried to get her attention. She promptly ignored him and kept reading her book. "Hey." He glared at her. "You're ignoring me on purpose."

"I'm reading."

"Yeah well you've been reading that page for the last three minutes."

"You're being distracting."

"Good."

"What do you want?"

"Come here."

She sighed and snapped her book shut, rolling her eyes as she got to her feet.

He pulled her into a hug and rested his chin on the top of her head. Man... How long had it been since he held her in his arms? She was stiff and uncooperative though.

"Are you done?"

"Why are you being like this?"

"I'm not doing anything."

"I know! You're like a zombie again."

"I don't understand what you want from me."

"More of these for a start." She slowly, cautiously wrapped her arms around his waist and let out a soft sigh. "I miss you."

"I didn't go anywhere."

"Do you want to? Let's go do something, go somewhere. Anywhere you want."

"It's fine."

"Come on, Ray... Let me see that pretty smile again."

He stroked her cheek and slid a hand down her back, delighting in the way she shivered under his touch.

"Zack... don't..."

"Look at you... You still get so worked up. Is that why you won't look at me anymore? I haven't felt this pretty skin in months..."

"Zack..." She whined. "I'm trying too."

"Let me have just a little bit more. Can you do that for me?"

"Where's all this coming from?"

"Hmm?" He pressed his lips against the back of her hand. "Am I doing something to you?"

"Zack... What do you want from me?"

"I want to hold you again. What do I have to do? Tell me how to make you smile."

"Tell me you love me."

"What?"

"You don't?"

"Ray... I..."

"You're still not ready. So I'm giving you your space."

"I don't like seeing you this way." He murmured. "You sure there's not anything I can do to turn that frown upside down?"

"Tell me you want me." She ran a hand down the front of his body and toyed with his waistband.

"You know I do... but I don't need that from you," he whispered hoarsely.

"I know. I want to though..." She pushed him down on the couch.

"Ray, we can't... I'm not strong enough to hold back with you."

"Will you just hold me instead?"

"Can I?"

"Thank you."

"Why are you thanking me?" He scoffed. "I disappointed you again."

"You're not pushing me away. Can we stay like this for awhile?"

"Yeah. But first..."

"Hmm?"

"Smile for me?"

She did. And for the first time in a long while, he knew that they were going to be okay.

She slept by his side that night, and for once there was nothing weird about it at all. It felt like they both belonged there. He pushed her hair out of her face and held her close, admiring the contented expression on her face. She was so beautiful...

He listened to her soft slow breathing as she drifted off to sleep.

"I love you, Ray..." He whispered and kissed her forehead.

It was the best night's sleep he'd ever had.