the way he look at me made me feel like I am his Aphrodite. I could feel his amazement when he look straight into my eyes and the only thing you want to be is live beside him and fulfil your dreams and be someone who he will continuously amaze for, Someone just like me. He made me feel that whatever I do I am on my perfection even I am so trying hard, even I parrot some of impossible artist like Avril Lavigne(hardcore)who throws food over him inside the grocery store at Robinson because he was so fucking irritating! To elicit and strut like Carrie Bradshaw in the sex in the city story Manila version and reggae type who wears dreadlocks and oldies clothes, shoes and my favourite boots like a hippie girl around Afpovai. I don’t even live there and to tell you its 2 hours far from here so sometimes when we ran out of money to rent a room at Pasay motels I sneak into my boyfriend’s house even his grandparents were there and stay for few days. He’s into vices like his friends do but I got to say he might be next face of marijuana. Damn, he could smoke all day like Karl. Karl let Choi smoke like it’s the only right thing to do in this world, they’re crazy, really. When I stay at his home most of the night we Jam together – drink beer or his own chocolate drink mixed don’t get me wrong it’s like vodka sometimes when he has; wine while smoking and watching movies or talking to each other. Damn he likes drinking; he said it helps him to be in his deepest sleep. As if I am not enough for him to be on his weakling point maybe because we just don’t know when to stop and when he have started from sleeping I will wake him up cause I am so freaking attentive at night, like all the stuffs I could possibly think run through. But there he is sleeping like a baby so heavy and I could hear him snorting softly. I just have to let him go in a way. All the let go’s are worth it when he gained energy from sleeping, we will really really had the best make out happening out there as if the fire were within us and the moon lining in our skin that would made us catch our own breath then we will light up a cigarette, laughing at each other how good It was. Haha =)) especially when we are high as if we are on the tip of the universe holding each other caress. Not only that waking up beside him is exceptional; every morning was like very meaningful. Kissing him always feels like it is still our first kiss, the fireworks and goose bumps, the excitement and sensation. His lips and breath after a long nap is his best scent, the scent of being he alone without any touch of outside life and our breakfast in bed make out that would give our whole day positively good. Since his Grand ma doesn’t know I am up stairs in his room when it’s time to take breakfast lunch or dinner I stayed inside and wait for him to come back. And when there’s a chance he won’t let me starve to death he will get me food. While on the back there's a guy playing guitar and singing. He is so simply romantic. You won't recognize his sweetness if you’re too blind to see. We could spend most of our day making out with each other, doing different positions kissing like it’s the end of the world and we will not regret our death because we have each other and our souls will meet again.
But if there is light there is this god damn dark! I don’t wanna talk about this but this is part of sneaking’ ummm what can you say about being caught? Shame and please move double time! You no longer want to be alive once you’ve been caught. You’ll be seeing yourself walking home alone in the bus with such sorrow and pathetic look on your face. That feeling that you just wanted to throw your face or “magparetoke nalang” so his grandma would no longer remember you. That was Bullshit fucking bullshit! No wonder why her Grand ma doesn’t want me for him.
This would not be possible if I did not quit school and refund my tuition fee at Colegio De San Juan de letran. Damn it! Being caught is kinda my thing! You kner I was doing it well, I even made some good reasons to the faculty but while the day of taking money comes near all of a sudden they called my mom!! I wrote Charles’ number there and I don’t know how they got my mom’s number! My life is all done. No more thrills no more making reasons no more sneaks or swaps. They just ended my teenage life in that one stupid call. Not only my life but also my parents’ life! Of course any parents would be deranged to know that their daughter has been high jacking her allowance since the 1st day of 2nd semester and she is up to something they are not capable of. It was hard for the both of us, hurting them was never my intention. I did what I could to continue find myself. They asked me how could I? At first I couldn’t tell them what’s on my mind, like I know they’ll find it impossible and nonsense but someone told me that I have to be honest with myself and you have to be strong and willing to take action if you want something, someone. So making the first step towards my dream I told them I want to enter the world of business. I said I don’t want to go to school anymore, I finalize myself by asking who really I am and I came up with the idea that I don’t want to be just a person who wakes up every morning doing the same shit everyday like there is nothing else to do beside of it! Thanks to my Consumer Insight professor, Ricky Gonzales for letting us find ourselves. My Grand Ma understood my willingness to try something outside school. She even gave me the money I need so I could have the time in world. She raised her children by opening type of business, Sari-sari store, charcoals, gulaman and etc.
