Maybe he was enjoying our life the same as I am that we no longer thought about gambling mistakes. I even asked him to lay me in the master’s bed room and it was intoxicatingly crazy like a sudden volcano erosion trap in our body. And when mom and dad asked me how did I lose my virginity, well I told them that it was so amazing that it happened so fast. No questions, no words, just love.
i don't know if I made them believed but Dad said ha? and mom reacted like she knew what I meant. I couldnt sleep thinking about the lies and invention of perfection..
I need to be honest with myself. back then Its one night after a tornado , its almost the end of everything. I opened his facebook account and suddenly read a conversation I am not expecting though it was very quiet theres a voice inside me shouting for questions and answers blowing in my mind. thoughts were so fast that I couldn't behave myself. I need someone whose gonna calm me down closer to him. Ryken told me all his lies, his reasons were all made up so he could enjoy his time with his friends. He loves his addiction about Marijuana rather I am. Like a dart he hit me on the middle and everyone cheers with loneliness like no one is gonna be another man. He let that night passed. I came to school ugly as a duck swimming with bunch of garbage and eyeliners in my eyes. Pandak did not left me unsustainable. He sat beside me till he came. He said his sorry and though I couldn’t help but feel the softness like he had not done anything that cost me to lose so many tears I played with his games. Ryken knew that I couldnt lose him, he knew that I'm just playing around and will still end like a girl who would not find any other man anymore but even It was kinda obvious I let my feelings shower me more than my mind says. We had a night at Belagio beers and sisha turn the table on. We went home together and we talked about his addiction and lies our conversation went well like we uctually made a commitment from then I knew I loved him. We kissed like its not just a kiss anymore, every bit runs through my vein that circulates to the bones and create voltaic magnitude. After few days of that fight I slept in his room, just the two of us in one king size bed cuddling and kissing and touching laughing I was just so happy.
And it all started with a words of invitation coming out from my mouth entering through his ears and sending it to his brain. He agreed like he was sure and I invite him like I really wanted to. He did the first move but it just didnt went out right then I did somethingggg and
...... It’s a secret so I have to kill you first
I sat above him as I feel every shed of his skin beneath our moist allowing ourselves to open each element invisible to us. OMG, you're in me and with God grace I really don’t know what to do, all I can think of is his eyes furious like i have swollen a bunch of fries and though it might kill me yet I still want it more. His lips is so soft and bearable that cause me to kiss him harder as if it is my only chance of seizing him. he moves like he is riding on his board cruising heavenly with the wind that blows inside the fire. then we are captivated as if Romeo and Juliet came to us for another soul.
he kissed me looking straight into my eyes and I feel so damn pretty everytime by then I knew within that he loves me not because I love him but because every moment gives such memory.
Like a camera he developed me with his images and gestures that I become a certain image of what he can call his material. He used me like I was his favourite color in every clothes he wear that every person can discover his hideous emotion behind his pebbles.That were washed away by the wave of an ocean. lost. I want to search every sand in the entire ocean but my eyes were locked by the moon that I need to let him go like a star who disappear during day.
