When the Moon Watches

The Stray At My Door - 1

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Come to me my sweetest friend
Can you feel my heart again
I'll take you back where you belong
And this will be our favorite song

-Goo Goo Dolls

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Jina:

I stood by the kitchen window, with my back to the room, staring out at the bricked courtyard as I slowly put down the last clean dish. I took my time with the chore at the end of a busy day because I enjoyed looking out at the stillness. I let my thoughts wander as I watched you sitting so still I sometimes wonder if you are real. An unexpected sound startles you and you momentarily look towards me. Escaping the shadows, I get a good look at your surprisingly amused face. I can't help smiling.

Every night, I see you sitting under the stars, your beautiful silhouette outlined by the moonlight. I wonder why you are alone, why you can't sleep. You look so defeated as if you have suffered a great loss. Is this why I am drawn to you? Is this why I think about you all the time? I wonder if you are suffering from depression or something else along those lines. You are always alone. The way you look up at the sky seems like the moon is your only friend. I want to be your friend. I want to be your sky. I want to be your moon. I don't even know you but I worry about you. I hope you haven't given up. I stare out the window always looking for you, my mysterious loner neighbor.

"Jina, bring me some water please," my boyfriend, Jaden, asked, taking me out of my thoughts. He didn't even look up from his book and continued to read, preparing for his exam.

"Sure, I'll be right there babe," I say, bringing myself back to the reality of my life.

If the university dorms weren't so expensive, perhaps I would not have made this choice. At the time that we started dating, it made sense to split the cost of this apartment to save money. We were roommates with benefits more out of convenience than love. He said he would rather live with me than a bunch of messy guys anyway. How romantic. I was glad to have him close but living with him wasn't what I expected. Yes, he was physically there but his mind was always on something other than me. We had made a mistake but ending it was harder than continuing how it was.

We had met at a school social. He was the best looking guy in the room and my friend Mia had dared me to go talk to him. Before long we were dating and starting living together soon after. Too soon. With the pressures of school and work, we soon found out we had little time for each other and we weren't that compatible.

Jaden never expressed how he felt and I felt awkward and stiff around him. I felt I was the problem and I honestly just wanted to escape and be alone.

I brought the water and told him I was going to walk Molly.

"Thanks, come back soon," Jaden says and continues reading his book.

Molly is a little dog that we adopted together. Lost and dirty, we found the tiny fluff ball with matted fur and sad little eyes and instantly fell in love. It was so sweet how grateful he was to be taken in. We put up pictures of the dog around our building but nobody came to claim him. I was glad because he made the apartment less lonely.

I'm glad of the excuse to walk Molly hoping to chat with the boy in the courtyard. I'm hoping he doesn't notice my nerves.

Opening the door, the cool air hits me as I put down food for the neighborhood stray, another lonely soul I want help. I reach down and try to pet the calico cat but it avoids my hand, afraid to get caught. Molly sniffs the bowl and I pull him away before he eats the poor cat's food. It seems no matter how much I feed him, the little cat is still very thin. I look up searching for my neighbor when I notice his eyes momentarily meeting mine. I smile thinking he's like the little stray hanging by my door, pretty and thin with small expressive eyes.