a 💌 to myself & you
title: the reasons
hey,it's me.
my real recovery is happening right know.
sounds stupid, because i failed so many times in front of you all.
but this time, it's not the same.
this time i know my worth, i have a motivation to push me.
i accept it, that i won't be easy.
that i will cry, feel shitty and hate myself more than anything.
i will gain and some people will judge my new body.
some people will talk about their diets.
someone will bodyshame my friends or even me.
but i won't feel weak and dizzy anymore
i won't count almonds and calories in a piece of paper
i won't hide food under my tshirt
i won't smell cherry lipstick as dinner
i won't put my whole lunch to the trash
i won't shout and scream with my mom
i won't watch mukbangs as lunchs
i won't kneel in the bathroom
i won't think about food 24/7
i won't look at my thighs in every window and door
i won't look at my purple nails proudly
i won't shake and freeze
i won't
i won't
i won't!!!
i will live.
i only have one life.
and i don't want to worry about my calories when i'm 87.
saying 'no thanks' if my son gives me
a piece of cake
wearing xxl clothes and feeling nothing but shame all day
then go to sleep with a pain in my chest
thinking about everything i missed.
i want life.
i want skirts, little tshirts and szexy bras.
i want love and citys to visit.
i want oceans, pools and cute bikinis. ❤️
and i will have this.
it takes time but i will.
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you are amazing and i love you.
YOU ARE READING
behind the scenes
Non-Fictionmilyen étkezési zavarral élni ? napló mindennapokról étkezési zavarral, idézetek, dalok, beszámolók. a könyv egy fele az étkezési zavarom "alatt" íródott, illetve a pszichiátrián való tartózkodásomról. immár 4 hónapja felépülésben vagyok :) minden o...
