Finding Me

28

Felicity was nervously bobbing her leg sitting between Deb and Stevie. She was wearing a black long sleeve body con dress with a metal accent belt around her waist and a pair of five-inch black stilettos on her feet. Besides bobbing her knee she was twisting at a piece of straight blonde hair that was laying against her back falling at her waist. It was almost simultaneously that Deb and Stevie placed their hands on her knee to stop her.

"I'm sorry I'm just freaking out." She sighs.

"You'll be fine Sweet Girl." Stevie grabs her hand and gives it a tight squeeze, not bothering to let it go. 

"And besides whatever happens. You'll be okay." Deb grabs her hair and untucks it from between her back and the wooden bench. 

It only takes two hours to hear all of the testimony from the girls who had come forward but then Felicity's heart dropped about ten thousand feet when Derrick takes the stand. He doesn't deny any accusations and he admits to several himself before the questions turn. 

"Prosecution calls Ms. Felicity Buckingham to the stands," 

Stevie squeezes her hand tightly and Felicity slowly makes her way to the stand. 

"Ms. Buckingham, why don't you go by Keith anymore?" 

"I don't go by Keith anymore because when I was 18 Bryan terminated his parental rights over me. My brother, Adam, and I were adopted when we were only a couple of months old and we didn't find out about it until we were around eleven or twelve when Bryan and our adoptive mother, Charlotte Keith, were divorcing." 

"Why did he disown you?" 

"I never knew the actual reason. But I do know that he never wanted to adopt me in the first place. He and Charlotte only had the intention of adopting one child. They wanted Adam, but the state of California has a law that says you can't separate twins at birth, in the case of adoption, or in the case of divorce. I knew that Bryan wasn't entirely happy though after I quit swimming when I was twelve years old." 

"Why did you quit?" 

"I quit because it was Charlotte's week with us. I had gotten out of the pool and I was showering off when my back felt funny. I had Charlotte look at it and she said that I had a rash, probably from rubbing up against the pool wall during laps. But the next morning I woke up with virtually no skin on my back, between my fingers, and on certain spots on my legs and arms. She took me to the hospital where I had to take some tests and I found out that I am allergic to chlorine." 

"But why do you think, that made him unhappy with you?"

"Um, well I was...I was better than my brother. We started swimming at three but I was competing at UComp-Youth Competiton-when I was five. Adam didn't have the skill level to start until he was nine. All of my coaches said I was on track for the Olympics but the allergy threw a wrench in my plans." 

"Did you know about all of these scandals taking place?" 

"I was totally unaware. I started slowly detaching myself from Bryan when Charlotte died when I was fourteen. We had never been close anyway, but I was really close to Charlotte so I when she passed away I started latching on to the people she was close with...My Uncle Andrew, her best friend Debra, and many others simply because it was almost like I still had apart of her with me." Felicity explains.

"Were you ever targeted by sexual harassment from Bryan?" 

"No...never Bryan. Derrick though, his partner would constantly stare at my breasts and my backside when I was in High School. He even made the comment the other day about how even though now that I was residing in Los Angeles, I still didn't have that big of breasts and he figured I would've gotten a boob job already." Felicity explains.

"No further questions." 

When Bryan's lawyer stands up, she slightly shrinks because he wasn't giving her the best look in the world.

"Ms. Buckingham, you're dressed very provocatively today don't you think?" 

"No. my dress isn't low cut and I'm wearing long sleeves. It goes to my knees." 

"But it's tight. Even though you claim you don't have breasts they're on show in that dress. Do you always dress like this?" 

"In tight clothes...I don't know how that pertains to anything." 

"Just answer the question." 

"I was under five-pounds when I was born and I was only about 18 inches long. I'm five foot three, my biological mother is five foot one. I have always worn petite clothing my whole life. If I as so much as attempt to venture from the juniors department or the petite section I drown in my clothes. Most of the clothing in those sections are designed to be smaller and tighter. I only weigh about 115 pounds.  I am a dance teacher and I have been since I was fourteen years old. It is required where I work to wear tight-fitting clothing so the students can see and take in movements and muscles. It helps them see what they have to work on. How when doing a relevee you go up on your tiptoes and you clench every muscle from your calves to your biceps. But even so, it is entirely too inappropriate to ask questions like that. I am only here to tell you what I know about the sexual harassments I am not the one on trial here." Felicity growls. 

"Fine, no more questions." 

"You may step down." 

When Felicity gets back to her mother and Debra and Stevie just wraps her arms around her.

***

Adam was the next one to be questioned and then Andrew, and then finally Debra was called to the stand. 

"You were close to Charlotte Keith when she was alive correct." 

"Yes, we were like sisters. Charlotte and I came out to California for school together. Her brother Andrew followed us about five years later for his doctoral program." 

"Did you know about this?" 

"The sexual harassment no. Charlotte never told me." 

"But Charlotte knew?" 

"According to Andrew she did. It never came up in a conversation with her, but it would explain a lot of things that happened." 

"Like what?"

"If Charlotte knew it would make sense as to why even though she was receiving cancer treatments, she still knew she wasn't going to survive and even though cancer patients are advised not to drink while undergoing treatment she did drink. A lot. Mostly when her kids were at their dad's for the week. It would make sense as to why she fought so hard for sole custody of Felicity. She didn't want her left with someone, who was capable of sexual harassment." 

"You said she drank?" 

"She did drink. She started with margaritas then she'd go to straight tequila. I'd often go with her and just make sure she got home safely. She'd cry every night she'd drink and she was so sick," Deb starts crying, "I think she knew and I think she did it to speed up the process." 

"Suicide?" 

"In a lot of ways yeah. She was suffering and she didn't want to suffer anymore. Mentally, Physically it was so hard to watch and part of me is so angry that she's not still here to comfort her children."

Felicity sobs from the audience and Bryan looks down, tears welling in his eyes. 

"Do you think she was also a victim of sexual harassment by Bryan Keith?"

"I do. She was originally his student." Deb cries. 

***

As the trial comes to an end, Bryan is given probation and a 50,000 dollar fine. As they were walking out of the courtroom, Deb turns to the Buckingham family.

"I think we need to go see your mom." 

"Yeah, we do." Felicity agrees, and Adam nods.