January 6, It's finally 2020, I made it! Well I sort of made it... Tried to leave my negative feelings in 2019 but I think instead, I just left my happiness. Now that sounds dramatic but I just don't feel it anymore, I don't feel alive. While I do know I'm "alive", I'm not living. It's only been a couple of days and I already feel my connections with people melting away. Not sure if that's just me getting ready to go, or if I'm just done with living. I honestly feel done. I'm so done. I don't want to be here. I hate this place. I loved my friends, but now I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing but pain. Not really physical pain but more like mental and emotional pain. I'm so done with feeling like this. So done. Although I'm done, I'm weak. I can't fix anything. I can't even end it all right now so I guess the pain isn't enough that I can't bare it.
