January 23 2020, I'm scared. I'm scared of letting new people into my heart. I'm scared of change, I'm scared of drifting away, I'm scared of being here. I want to go home. But I'm not really sure where home is. I keep thinking that I want to go home. Where is home? Nowhere? Somewhere? I don't want to be here. I'm scared of what other people think of me. I'm scared of what I think about myself. I don't know what's wrong but I just don't feel okay anymore. I want to breathe without feeling so stifled. I want to go away. I NEED to go away. I love my friends but I feel like I'm playing a character like I've never changed. They probably think I'm dramatic every time I try to show them. I don't want to be here. The pain is still enough to bare. So I shall. I'll live for now.
