RELAPSE - Arthur Fleck | Joker FANFIC/LOVE STORY

Chapter 23: Burden

Anon's POV:

It had been a few days since I went to the police station to make my report against Thomas Wayne and I hadn't heard anything back yet. During this time, I spent my days battling with withdraw symptoms, terrible urges and anxiety attacks.  Arthur and Sophie were basically taking turns babysitting me through the days to help me get through it. 

Arthur had the rough end of the deal, though, because not only was he taking care of me during the day and working, he was also taking care of me at night.  He was getting me through my anxiety attacks and fighting to keep me in the apartment when I started to give into my urges.  He tried to convince me that he was getting enough sleep, but I knew that he wasn't.  I hated myself for being such a burden for him and I knew I was being less than pleasant to him when I fought with him about leaving the apartment, but he was still being so supportive in such a sweet way. I could never express how much it meant to me and I could never thank him enough for everything he was doing. He was my hero.

Today, the withdraw symptoms weren't as bad, but the urges still weren't going away. I spent most of the day watching TV with Sophie and GiGi, trying to keep my thoughts in check, but I was getting restless. I wanted to go home and be with Arthur.  He left earlier in the day to go to work, but was due to be back soon.

Sophie's voice pulled my attention from the TV, "Hey, Anon, I just wanted to let you know that I can't take anymore days off work. My boss is starting to get pissed.  I'm sorry."

I waved my hand at her, "No, don't apologize. It's fine. I understand."  I reached out and squeezed her hand, "Thanks for hanging out with me for a couple of days. I really do appreciate it."

She squeezed my hand back, "No problem, girl. I know you'd do the same for me."  At that moment, the phone rang, so she got up from the couch to answer it. "Hello?  Oh, let me see. Hold on."  She held her hand over the mouthpiece of the phone and whispered towards me, "It's your probation officer."  I gave her a slow, exaggerated head shake to let her know I did not want to speak to him, so she uncovered the mouthpiece and spoke into the phone, "Sorry, she must have left. I'll let her know you called. Okay, I understand."  She hung up and sat back down on the couch.

"What did he say?"

"He just said he needed to speak with you. Said it was important."

I tried to rack my brain about what he would need to talk to me about. I didn't have a scheduled appointment with him or a drug test until next week, so it wasn't like I missed anything like that. I did have to see my counselor soon, but even that was still a couple of days away. Now that I was actively thinking about these things, I started to worry about him finding out that I had a relapse and what would happen if he did.

Blackgate. Being separated from Arthur.

Before I could get too wrapped up in my thoughts, there was knock at the door. I quickly got up from the couch and said my goodbyes to Sophie and GiGi because I knew it was Arthur.  When I opened the door, it revealed Arthur in his clown getup. The sight of him made me smile.

There was a squeal behind me, "Momma, it's a clown!"  GiGi jumped from the couch, ran up beside me, and looked up at Arthur, "Hi, Mr. Clown.  My name is GiGi."

I heard Sophie call out to try and pull GiGi's attention away from Arthur as he kneeled down to GiGi's level, "My name is Carnival. It's nice to meet you, GiGi.  Do you wanna be a clown too?"  His voice was so chirpy when he spoke to her.

GiGi giggled, "Yes!"

He waved one of his hands around, in front of her face, as he sneaked his other hand in his pocket. She was mesmerized by the hand he was waving around, so he moved his other hand from his pocket to behind her ear.  He stopped waving his hand, "What is this behind your ear?!"  He pulled his hand from behind her ear and brought it in front of her eyes, revealing a big, red clown nose.  She had a big smile on her face as he placed it on her nose, "There, you're a clown now!"