Siege of Area 51 ✓

15. Chris

August 14th, 2019

The last thing I remember was getting ready to go see a movie. Then I heard a knock on the door and thought it was Rosario. But after opening the door, everything goes blank. I try to remember past that and it's just a fog. The next thing I remember is waking up in my apartment and being confused.

Her voice sounded tender as it hit my ear, "you're awake." My eyes were still adjusting to the light, but I could tell that she was smiling when she said that. When they finally managed to focus, I saw her sitting at the foot of my bed. I sat up and she came up to me and hugged me like I had been dead. What could I do but hug her back with the same earnestness? We held that embrace for what felt like hours. I didn't want to let her go, but eventually, I did.

I asked her how we got back to my apartment because the last thing I remembered was being in Salt Lake City. With both her hands, she took one of mine and kissed it. "Do you think you could go for a walk?" She asked. I said yes and we made our way outside. We walked hand in hand in silence. While walking along the trails in the park, Rosario finally broke the silence. "I'll miss this," she sighed, "but I'll miss you most of all."

My gut told me where this was heading before we walked out the door. I found myself wishing that we could have kept walking in silence. Somehow I got the idea in my head that if the silence had remained, so would she. But I knew better and now my worst fear was coming true. I've been dreading this day and I had no idea where the time went. There was supposed to be more time.

"We should go back now," she said. I wanted to say no. I wasn't ready for her to leave. I tried to think of something to say that would prolong our outing. "Why can't I remember past getting ready to go to the movie?" I asked. She looked at me and I saw tears welling up in her eyes as she said, "Because I erased your memory."

"What? Why did you do that?" She begged for me to forgive her. She said that she had to do it. And that at least now, I could go back to my normal self and life. I told her that I didn't know what my normal life was anymore. I said I didn't know how it could ever be normal without her. Seeing her cry broke my heart. And it seemed like the more I said, the more pain it caused her. So I stopped talking. I squeezed her hand and said, "Let's go back."

The walk home felt too short. Before I knew it, we were standing in my living room again. I held both her hands as she stood there with more tears rolling down her face. I wiped them away with my thumbs. I tried to find something to say, but my mind was blank save for one question. The one question I always asked myself every time she left, but which had never passed my lips. My heart was racing as I uttered, "Will I ever see you again?"

My eyes closed slowly as I felt her lips press against mine. Time and space seemed to fade away as we kissed. Her arms wrapped around my neck while my hands embraced her back. My body was awash with feelings that I had never felt before. I had longed for this moment. When we finally broke off, our foreheads were pressed together. As our eyes met, she began to back away.

I knew what was coming next and I wasn't ready for it. She mouthed the words, "I love you," and I replied, "I love you too." Just like that, she was gone. She had vanished back to a different time like it was all a dream. I stood there with only her kiss on my lips. I walked back to my room and threw myself into bed.

I laid there for what seemed like forever. My body felt frozen all over and just as cold. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of something on my bedside table. It was a picture of us in front of the Great Salt Lake. An older lady had taken it for us. She said that we made a beautiful couple. I'm sure I turned beet red when she said that. But even now the picture made me smile. We looked so happy. I held it up and let myself get lost in the memories it invoked.

Someone once said that as human beings, we live mostly in our minds. And for now, I'm going to live in my mind. Because that's where Rosario is with me. Someday I'll move on, but right now that's not something I'm capable of doing.