For you, i will

chapter XVII

ryan clung on to shane's arm as they walk down the street. part of it was for physical support, but mostly it was because he wanted to hold shane close to himself.

after about thirty minutes, the sun had completely set and a cool air was blowing in from the beach. ryan turned his face toward the wind and let it fill his lungs. so many things were refreshing for him today. he could only hear the wind and shane's soft humming. if he listened hard enough, there was also the sound of LA traffic in the distance. it felt good to be here with shane.

when they finally reached the main road, it was no longer quiet. there were people around them, cars honking, and the occasional cuss word being yelled. ryan laid his head on his boy friend's chest, who tightened his grip on ryan's shoulder.

suddenly, shane made an abrupt statement.

"wanna go to a bar?" he asked.

ryan looked up at shane and smiled.

"lead the way."
•••
it was rare to find a bar with so few people in it. there was a sense of calm surrounding shane, ryan, and the seventeen other people here. there was soft music playing in the background and ryan appreciated that shane had chosen such a calm atmosphere for them to go to; they could talk here.

"i'm no longer a demon", shane said.

"you're not?", ryan was surprised.

"no, i think it happened earlier today."

"are you okay with that?", ryan asked, unsure of how to react.

"of course i am. i know i get to spend the rest of my life with you."

at first the remark seemed like a sweet thing typical of shane to say, but then ryan started thinking.

"the rest of my life", he murmured to himself, a smile on his face.

"what was that?" shane asked.

"nothing, nothing. i'm just happy. i'm happy that you're in my life shane."

shane leaned closer to his boyfriend and whispered, "i'm happy you're in mine too."
•••
shane and ryan lost track of time, sitting there reminiscing sweet memories. it was about three hours later when shane suggested they go somewhere else, motivated by the annoyed glances from the bartender.

"where are we going?" ryan asked, ecstatic to venture into the night.

"you'll see" shane smiled down at him.

"oh boy, i better not end up on an episode of my own show..." ryan laughed, amused by shane's mysterious tone.

shane took a hold of ryan's hand and led him up a small hill. the two walked for about fifteen minutes in silence; they didn't need words to communicate right now.

when they finally arrived, shane turned and faced ryan.

"close your eyes." he told him

ryan did so, and shane took his arm and led him through the bushes into a small lookout area on a cliff.

"alright, now open 'em"

ryan opened his eyes and peered out into the city. he could see downtown LA's skyline at a distance, below which the traffic slowly moved. it was so beautiful.

ryan sat down and shane joined him, their legs hanging off the cliff.

"i've always wanted a house with a view like this. sometimes i want to gaze out the window and just stare at all the people living their busy lives. i wonder what they're up to sometimes, while i'm there laying in bed."

"that's very picturesque" shane said. "you want a house like that?"

"yeah, i do. i want a place like that for us both."

"that would be really nice."

ryan looked out into the city lights, his eyes tracing highways or following planes as they passed above. the whole time, shane stared at him.

"how come we've never been here before?" ryan asked.

"it's a special place to me" shane said. "i wanted the first time you saw it to be memorable."

"what makes tonight so memorable?"

shane took ryan's hand in his own. he got up, still holding ryan's hand, who looked up at shane for a while, then followed him up. the two stood there, hand in hand, gazing into each other's eyes.

there was a faint sound of city traffic below them, but it was all so far away from them. shane pulled ryan close to himself and held him. he felt the world had stopped and it was just them, safe from everything.

shane remembered the proposal he had planned for ryan. he wanted the beach behind them, perhaps a beautiful sunset. he had it all planned out, and this was far from what he had imagined. and still, standing here, holding ryan in his arms, he didn't care how ideal any of this was. it didn't matter. what mattered was that he loved ryan, and he would love him no matter where they were.

"you never answered me", ryan whispered, "what makes this night so different?"

shane took a step away from ryan, then looked at him and smiled. ryan could see the happiness behind his eyes. shane reached for ryan's hands again, then worked his way down to one knee.

"shane..." ryan whispered, tears filling his eyes.

"well...tonight is the night i propose"